Idiot Cube

With last year's biggest revelations being the entirety of Vault 7 and the Equifax breach, we're starting off this year with a two exploits (though divided into three vulnerabilities) ranging about 20 years of CPUs.
 
Article Dump:
Official Meltdown and Spectre Exploit Website Includes Q&A, CVEs, and academic papers Google Project Zero write up on Meltdown and Spectre Written by one of the researchers that found both exploits The Register - Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign Ars Technica - What’s behind the Intel design flaw forcing numerous patches? Meltdown explanation in layman's terms Wired - A Critical Intel Flaw Breaks Basic Security for Most Computers Why Raspberry Pi isn't vulnerable to Spectre or Meltdown Includes layman's explanation of speculative execution Meltdown in Action: Dumping memory Meltdown demo - Spying on passwords Official responses from various companies Intel AMD ARM Microsoft Amazon Web Services Google Android Security Bulletin Linus Torvalds doesn't like Intel A valid complaint given that Intel thinks its ok that malicious actors can only read memory LLVM's work in progress Spectre patch for variant 2 Important information about Microsoft Meltdown CPU security fixes, antivirus vendors and you  
Basic ways to exploit these vulnerabilities:
With Spectre, an attacker can put malicious JS on a website, allowing them to read all browser memory including form data such as passwords, cookies, session tokens, and encryption keys. Similar approach can be used with Java in a sandbox. With Meltdown, an attacker can host software in some cloud environment to read memory form the host machine. Any data hosted on that server can then be read.  
tl;dr:
Two major CPU vulns just went public Exploitable CPUs allow attackers to read memory of processes currently Meltdown is exploitable on Intel CPUs while Spectre is exploitable on Intel, AMD, and ARM CPUs Meltdown is not yet verified to work on AMD or ARM CPUs Spectre is likely to affect all modern multithreading CPUs It is unclear if this exploit has ever been used publicly before now Patches have been put out for the Linux kernel, Windows, OSX, and Android but only for Meltdown so far LLVM have a work in progress patch for one of Spectre's two variants Expect lots of recompiling soon Patches are software to fix a hardware issue. This isn't going to be properly solved until a couple years down the line with a redesigned CPU generation. Performance hits are expected, and further performance hits are expected when the Spectre patches roll out Ballpark 5 to 30% performance decrease for Intel CPUs This primarily affects system calls, not computation, meaning that things like rendering or gaming shouldn't be affected in any substantial way. Expect the largest performance hits on VM software that use Hyper-V or docker containers Likely not an NSA or CIA backdoor because it would still affect their own hardware as much as anyone else As per usual, encrypt your data and use stuff like NoScript. As long as you keep up to date with software patches, the average user shouldn't be alarmed. BUT FUCKING UPDATE YOUR SHIT

Happy new year all of you
 
No matter what you're doing witb your life, whether you're bettering the world squeezing moisture off leaves to feed starving African children or waking up to play videogames all day, just make sure you're happy to wake up every morning
 
Even if this forum is dead I wish you all the best and I mean it

Hello there, once again SubSPUF pals! It’s the Holiday Season, and we all know what that means! It’s time for an all new, exciting Smissmas Update idea! “But LordAIDS Monkey”, you may ask, “didn’t we already get a new update in the form of all new taunts and a Smissmas Stocking?!” Yes! We did, and let me say that Valve’s new excuse for a Smissmas routine has really grown quite tired! But never fear, I’m HERE to introduce to all you an EXCITING new idea, cooked up a year in advance so that Valve might borrow (steal) and implement it for NEXT YEAR’S UPDATE! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the thrilling idea!
 
…
 
     It was a normal day in TF2 Land. But it wasn’t just ANY normal day! It was a normal Smissmas Day, and the Scout was throwing his yearly Smissmas Bash! All the mercs, of course, attended Scout’s little party. As Scout was going around, making sure all the guests were enjoying the festivities, he heard a peculiar noise that no party host ever wants to hear. “Ayyy, this party SUCKS!” shouted the drunken Demoman.
     “Huhuhuh! Heya, pally! There's no need to be feeling blue about my party! We’re bringing out the piñata soon, so good times are sure arise!” assured Scout. As Scout spoke, a knocking was heard at his door.
     “Yeehaw! Looks like we company, Scout! Don’t ya’ll worry, I’ll open the door faster than a barrel down a hill.” Engineer opened the door, and his jaw dropped immediately upon seeing who their guest was. Their guest was none other than the Smissmas Dinosaur himself!
     “Hello there, my little mercenaries. I’m here to warn you to be wary!
The Smissmas Holiday is currently in danger, and it’s all thanks to some mysterious stranger!
I don’t know who or what it is. But one thing’s for sure, it hates Smissmas!
So I humbly ask you for your aid, and as a reward, you shall be greatly paid.
No, not with money or things of that gist. But with a place on my jolly, nice list!”
     The mercenaries were unsure if they wanted to help the Smissmas Dinosaur. Afterall, he has tried to kill them on multiple occasions. (For those of you who are not aware, the Smissmas Dinosaur has been a recurring villain of sorts, as the mercenaries are always on the naughty list!) The mercenaries were also a bit confused as to what the task at hand was. Smissmas in danger? What?! Scout spoke up. “Huhuhu! Hey, Mr. Dinosaur, I for one, would love to help ya’ out! But, uh, what is it exactly you want us to do? Huhuhu.”
     “If we want to see our halls be decked, then I have some gifts you must protect!
For many of the presents I’ve made this year, have vanished, yes, disappeared!
A menace must be behind this trick... It must be a holiday-hating-prick!
So I ask of you, dear little Scout! Please figure what this mess is about!
If you don’t, Smissmas will take a bad toll! And you’ll all be receiving some dino-shit coal.”
     “Well, count us in then!” The mercs all shouted with glee! Yes, for once the mercs have all unanimously agreed on something. And thus it was decided, that they would seek out this holiday-hater. But, who in the right mind WOULD be such a holiday hater? Let’s find out!
Meanwhile, in a dark, snowy cavern, was a tall figure sitting by a warm fire lit by burning Smissmas presents and the dreams of children. “Gah. I hate presents. I hate snow, I hate that dinosaur. But most of all, I HATE SMISSMAS!” This monster was none other than… THE BAH-HUM BUG! And this guy is bad news for sure! He decided to, once more,  steal the presents and dreams of children. And so he donned his hat, and set out.
     Later, the mercenaries were guarding their presents, and that’s when the Bah-Hum Bug appeared! “Hello mercenaries. Just step aside, and I’ll be taking your gifts.”
“Huhuhu! No chance, pally! These gifts are the property of the children, so you aren’t getting them!” Scout and his friends all formed a great barrier to block the Bah-Hum Bug’s attempts, but the Bah-Hum Bug came prepared to deal with these silly mercs.
     “Hmmph! Fine then! Get a taste of THIS!” Suddenly, the Bah-Hum Bug began absorbing the holiday spirit from all the mercenaries! “Hahaha! This will make great fuel for my fire back home! Now step aside, those gifts are MINE!” The mercenaries, now essentially soulless, listened to the Bah-Hum Bug. The Bah-Hum Bug made off with the gifts, and this is where our update begins!
 
...
 
     This update would be shipped with an all new game-mode, that ties directly to my Smissmas Story! The gamemode, Smissmas Spirit, will feature take place in a fairly large map, split off into two separate zones. In the first zone is where the bulk of the match will occur. The decor here would be some sort of snowy hill, with a couple of structures to provide shelter. Here, RED and BLU will be pitted in a usually death match, where the objective is to kill one another, and collect the small bits of holiday spirit from their victims. There will also be small spawns of holiday spirit across the map that must be collected. After a set time, the first portion of the map will come to an end. Whichever team collects the most holiday spirit wins this portion.
     Now this where things get REAL crazy. After the first portion of the game, the mercs are magically teleported into the Bah-Hum Bug’s icy lair. Whichever team won the first portion of the game receives significant buffs in this second portion of the match. But in this second portion, the objective is not to kill one another, but to kill the Bah-Hum Bug himself! That’s right! The Bah-Hum Bug makes an appearance as the boss this update! He’d, of course, have many dangerous attacks at his disposal, including throwing bombs, throwing presents, throwing present bombs, and a short-ranged attack that absorbs your holiday spirit, draining all your ammo and dropping you to 1 hp. (But an FYI, Scouts using the Wrap Assassin or Candy Cane, Heavies using Holiday Punch, and Spies using the Spycicle will be immune to this effect! However, festive weapons will not be immune, so don’t ask, you P2W sluts!) Respawn will be disabled during the second phase, so don’t die! If both teams die, everybody loses. If you happen to be alive when the Bah-Hum Bug dies, you win completely independent of your team! If you don’t win, you don’t get any goodies. Too bad!
And what are these goodies I speak of? Well, a mandatory achievement that earns you the Bah-Hum Bug’s hat! But there are even more great achievements that can be earned, including the obligatory achievement where you must win on this map 8,000 times.
 

"BAH HUMBUG!" -Bah-Hum Bug
 
     And what update would be complete without WEAPONS!? Well, according to Valve, every update is acceptable as long as they’re making money. But in my book, we oughta have weapons. So I’m gonna list a few neat concepts for you all! The mercenaries were all on the nice list this year, so they have the Smissmas Dinosaur’s permission to be total douches next year, with these cool new weapons that’ll make your team sure to hate you!
 
The Speed Snatcher
Level 0 Bat
Hit teammates to steal 10% of their speed for 3 seconds
-30% damage
No random crits
Scout can hiit teammates to take 10% of their speed to add to your own for 10 seconds. If you hit a medic healing you, you can infinitely stack speed boosts because Valve bugs are fun!
 
The Tragic Tap
Level 0 Battle Banner
Buff built through death of allies in a nearby radius
Buff refills health
Buff grants full crits
Buff only applies to user
 
This is a Soldier Banner! It fills up by ⅓ everytime a teammate dies near you. Once full, you can blow it like a regular banner, restoring your health and granting crits to you for 10 seconds.

 
The Pain-Bow
Level 0 Flamethrower
Damage increases by 15% for each teammate on fire
Can not extinguish teammates
No random crits
 
This is a Pyro Flamethrower that promotes W+M1, the likes of which no one has ever seen. For each teammate on fire, anywhere, you gain a damage increase. But you can’t extinguish pals!
 
Sharing is Caring
Level 0 Lunchbox
Feed a sandvich to a teammate to become bound to them
If your bound teammate dies, you recieve mini crits for 2 seconds
Sandwiches don’t heal
 
An all new sandvich for heavy! If this weapon doesn’t teach Heavies to share their damn Sandviches, nothing will. Eating it yourself doesn’t do anything. Don’t eat it.
 
The Frontier Vengeance
Level 0 Shotgun
Gain two revenge crits for every teammate that dies
You do not receive revenge crits if you have an active sentry
-50% clip size
No random crits
 
This is an Engie shotgun! It gains two revenge crits every time a teammate dies, keeping them stored on your HUD. You receive your crits whenever your active sentry goes down.
 
Health Insurance
Level 0 Medigun
Uber grants invincibility, knockback immunity, megaheal, 100% crit chance, and speed boost
+500% Uber build rate.
Uber remains in effect after weapon switch
-40% Uber duration
Uber only triggers on patient death
Uber does not affect patients
 
This is a Medigun! It functions like stock, but Uber builds REALLY fast! The catch is that it only activates when your patient dies, and is only capable of affecting the medic wielding it.
 
Strength in Numbers
Level 0 Sniper Rifle
Gain 20% bodyshot damage for each sniper on your team
Headshots only deal mini-crits
Can only fire when scoped
 
This is an all new rifle! This weapon rewards you to play as Outback Steakhouse Man, as they say, strength in numbers! You get a damage boost for the more snipers you have!
 
The Double-Double Agent
Level 0 Disguise Kit
Spy can initiate pain-links by backstabbing teammates
When disguised, you take 50% less damage and will not receive status effects
Cannot disguise manually
Pain-link partner receives other 25% of regular damage
 
This is an all new disguise kit! It allows you to form a bond like no other with your team. When disguised as them, they take some damage for you. You can't disguise as enemies at all!
 
Demoman doesn’t get anything because he can just play Demoknight if he wants his team to hate him.
 
And that's a wrap! Merry Smissmas to all you good folks! As always, I look forward to sharing more fantastic update ideas with you in the future. But until that day comes, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing OUT!

Dunno if you can be proficient in everything, but the Quick Learner trait will help decrease the proficiency penalty for any new weapon you pick up. You'll still have a -2 penalty, but that's much better than the normal -4. And if you successfully disarm someone's weapon while you are unarmed, you can immediately grab the weapon. Maybe a Maneuver Master monk with all the disarm feats?
 
Get as much strength as you can, and try to adventure with casters who can Enlarge your Person.

Dwarf Inquisitor (Monster Tactician)/Paladin (Stonelord) with the Versatile Summon Monster (Chthonic) feat and the Deep Guardian trait.  Everything you summon is made of rock, you have a pet made of rock, you are made of rock, you're a Paladin who can still dump CHA, you're the Dwarfiest Dwarf to ever Dwarf.

fixed

>as he posts picture with memegenerator watermark

1 hour 14 minutes marker. 

What part of
do you not understand, Caveson?
It's not "months" of saving, it's almost always years. If it takes you mere months to save up enough cash to move to a new fucking state, you're obviously not doing that bad in life to begin with.

I'm going to be extremely blunt - and in doing so be an asshole - but I don't give a damn about your father's story and I sure as hell didn't ask for it. Because it's exactly the same kind of bullshit that I've been hearing everywhere else about why "The left just wants everything handed to them" "Millennials are so entitled" "Kids these days want the world for nothing". It's always "My parents grew up poor, but they worked and reaped the benefits of their hard work and blah blah blah blah blah" with words like "personal responsibility", "dedication", and "determination". Caveson, you're not this bloody stupid, the entire environment of the United States was vastly different than what it is now, it's why your father was able to actually accomplish that. I don't give a damn what you believe, lack of money is precisely the reason to not move, coming from someone who is currently in a situation where moving is impossible due to financial reasons, you're looking through Red, White, and Blue filtered lenses.
Thanks for dropping the pretenses.
Fuck the "Free Market".
Actually, this more falls into "The internet is a utility - akin to electricity, water, gas, etc. - and should therefore be treated as such instead of letting corporations have unabated control over the internet", nowhere did I ever mention the internet as a "right".
Except the states won't be able handle it!
The moment a state - and, let's face it, it's going to be California - attempts to actually enact and enforce their own form of Net Neutrality, one of the major ISPs is going to sue that state. And the courts will have no choice but to side with the company because if the FCC repealed Net Neutrality, that means they obviously intended for corporations to be able to do what they're going to do, and therefore the states have no right to try to stop them. 
It's better than the complete clusterfuck you're asking for.
You're assuming a lot about what kind of pricing they're going to offer. Things that use less bandwidth will not necessarily cost an appreciable amount less, and you'll still potentially be making internet access unaffordable for people who regularly use the internet for both "low-bandwidth" and "high-bandwidth" purposes.
Gee, gotta love how you immediately jump to some kind of negative assumption of me just because you can't think of a reason so I must be lazy and don't want to do any work.

I've already been impacted by differing standards across state lines. Technically I failed the 10th grade according to Georgia's standards, even though by Florida's standards I passed. In the grand scheme of things, it's rather insignificant - that could be said about just about anything - but I remember seriously questioning how and why the standards of education varied enough just across a single state border.

The reason I'm making this argument is because the United States has hardly changed over the decades, even centuries. We're still trying to govern on a system that worked perfectly okay in the US' infancy and for some time after its formation. But we've grown tremendously since then, we're now 50 states and ~323 million people strong. Our system of governing has been showing cracks and faults for decades now, and yet, year by year, the wedges keep being driven deeper and we keep adding more wedges. At some point - be it in the near or distant future - those wedges are going to get hammered all the way through the foundations and everything's going to crumble. 2016 was a rather brilliant display of how the low the general landscape the US has reached.
You can't always say no to a corporation. For example, I don't really like doing my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, they're not the greatest company. But there's no place around me that has prices as low as theirs, or a wide enough selection of goods my family either needs or would be willing to buy. There's a Publix closer to my house, but they're typically more expensive on just about everything my family needs and uses. There's an ALDI somewhere around here, but it's far enough out and out of the way enough that we'd be spending every potential penny we saved on gas. So I bite my tongue and get my groceries from Wal-Mart, because they're cheaper and we can save that money in case something happens. Corporations don't need to outright force you to buy their products, they can still get you to buy their stuff in a number of indirect ways.

And I'd thank you to not make such generalizing statements about my life when you know nothing about it. Disconnecting from the internet entirely would likely drive me to suicide - I'm an introvert and suffer from anxiety, I don't want to go out and meet with people, I dislike being alone in large crowds, so I don't want to go "experience the real world", whatever the fuck that means, and certainly not for any lengthy period of time - the "simpler things" in my life are chatting and gaming with friends I've made across the globe online. I don't have "my friend"s outside of the internet anymore - I don't have anyone I can call up or text and say "Let's hang out" or "Mind if I come over?" - I have "our friend"s, and even then I see them about once a month now. As edgy as it sounds, I don't have anything out there for me aside from some leisurely stuff I can't do at home. As pathetic as it sounds, my life is online. I already suffer from depression and feelings of loneliness, I don't need my one connection I feel the most comfortable with fucked with by some greedy conglomerate that's only interested in money I don't have.

You can say that again

This is such a bizarre argument to make in this particular case. The only way the government is "controlling" the internet is having a regulation that no one is allowed to control the internet. Your stance is basically akin to this:
 
Major automotive companies start adopting highways across the United States. They are granted permits to set up toll stations along the highways they own, so that on a road owned by Toyota, only owners of Toyota cars can expect to drive with any expectation of a reliable speed. Drivers of every other brand have to drive in slow lanes, or pay tolls to get into faster lanes, or may not be able to drive on those roads at all. Clearly no one wants this. The government steps in and says "This fucking sucks. Roads need to be reliable and accessible to everyone within reason." and sets up a regulation to end the practice. By your logic, the government is being the tyrannical party in this situation even though it's clear they're acting in the best interests of the public, which is their job.

Yeah, gigantic profit-hungry corporations rule the world. Big whoop.
 
The difference is, if the gigantic, profit-hungry ISPs aren't beholden to Net Neutrality rules, they can completely control what you see, hear, and do on the net. They could, for example, bar access to news and social media sites that promote views they don't like. Netflix and Amazon don't have that kind of power over anything outside their own sites and services.
 
(You could argue Google has way too much power over what you see, but at least they can't prevent you from visiting any particular sites)

Yeah, gigantic profit-hungry corporations rule the world. Big whoop.
 
The difference is, if the gigantic, profit-hungry ISPs aren't beholden to Net Neutrality rules, they can completely control what you see, hear, and do on the net. They could, for example, bar access to news and social media sites that promote views they don't like. Netflix and Amazon don't have that kind of power over anything outside their own sites and services.
 
(You could argue Google has way too much power over what you see, but at least they can't prevent you from visiting any particular sites)

Yeah, gigantic profit-hungry corporations rule the world. Big whoop.
 
The difference is, if the gigantic, profit-hungry ISPs aren't beholden to Net Neutrality rules, they can completely control what you see, hear, and do on the net. They could, for example, bar access to news and social media sites that promote views they don't like. Netflix and Amazon don't have that kind of power over anything outside their own sites and services.
 
(You could argue Google has way too much power over what you see, but at least they can't prevent you from visiting any particular sites)

Yeah, gigantic profit-hungry corporations rule the world. Big whoop.
 
The difference is, if the gigantic, profit-hungry ISPs aren't beholden to Net Neutrality rules, they can completely control what you see, hear, and do on the net. They could, for example, bar access to news and social media sites that promote views they don't like. Netflix and Amazon don't have that kind of power over anything outside their own sites and services.
 
(You could argue Google has way too much power over what you see, but at least they can't prevent you from visiting any particular sites)

It's not about trust. These laws have a proven track record of working for the benefit of everyone. Repealing them has no tangible benefit in the current landscape of ISP semi-monopolies, and repealing them now can do nothing but harm.
 
Yes, it's all trendy and edgy to be like "Lel the government is evil they shouldn't touch or do anything" right now but fact of the matter is sometimes, as shown in this case, government regulation has a net benefit for everyone but the executives of these ISPs.
 
On the other side, yeah, no shit Amazon/Netflix/Etc. stand to gain from these laws staying in place and that's why they advocate for them. So? What's the issue with that? It's a win-win in that case, that's a GOOD thing.
 
Again, yeah, it's cool and edgy to bitch about corporations making money these days, but at least attempt to look at the bigger picture. Bad for corporations =/= good for everybody else and vice versa. If you want to talk about trust, can always trust a megacorp to do what's in their best interests and they have a lot of swing in that regard. Why be pissed when it swings in your favor because interests align for once? Just so you can shoot yourself in the foot to "stick it to the man"?

There's no Scream Fortress 9 update page so I made it one.

Come on, be fair.  They barely had more than a year to test things.

I'm... gonna give it a few days, I think. This is no place for a Medic like me.

Upvoting is the real one, it adds to your reputation count.
 
Also, hi.

Upvoting is the real one, it adds to your reputation count.
 
Also, hi.

With the unholy magic of a Friday the 13th birthday in October, Vampire Cube is reborn!

 
(spooky music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU-WZf81cg8)
 
 

With the unholy magic of a Friday the 13th birthday in October, Vampire Cube is reborn!

 
(spooky music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU-WZf81cg8)