Idiot Cube

Sorry to hear that, Medich.

Don't worry, being late makes it just like a real TF2 update.

Happy Thanksgiving you bastards.

Dunno if I'll ever finish this, I just thought the idea was funny.

Dunno if I'll ever finish this, I just thought the idea was funny.

Dunno if I'll ever finish this, I just thought the idea was funny.

I forgot that sometimes people live in places where it gets cold. The only thing I have to worry about is the massive air pollution caused by half the state of California being on fire combined with unfortunate winds. Walking around town this evening felt like shit because every breath brought in what felt like 50% soot and it always smelled like something was on fire, which I guess it was so that's not surprising. The sun was pure red, though, and it looked really cool. I would've taken a picture but by the time I got to a suitable place it was already too dim.

A friend and I were talking about how hilarious it is that K. Rool owns a fucking gun, next thing you know I made this:
 

I wasn't making all those characters in my doodle thread for nothing! I've been working on a short cartoon for a few months, and it's finally done. I've actually wanted to do this in some form for 7 years now. But this cartoon itself only started production in March of this year (which is actually NOT why the series is called MARCH), after scrapping an earlier, partially-finished pilot. But finally, the culmination of 7 years of conceptualization is here! You can watch the first episode "MARCH- Austin vs the Football" on Newgrounds or Youtube:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up-fE5_IMOg
 
https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/719899
 
And if you want to learn the full history of this cartoon, I made a short slideshow for you all:
 
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/13aJxzY44Mx_sym9MpZX-Eo0NnANK2YDMMZwK3iQZWWo/edit?usp=sharing
 
I hope to make more of these cartoons in the future, expanding the world as I go. This thread will be exclusively for MARCH episodes. Any drawings or non-MARCH cartoons will still go into the doodle thread.

-Made by the programming wizards at Traveler's Tales
versus
-Made by the people who couldn't stop Paper Mario from crashing.

long shot but a request to change background color of spoilers on SPUFSpooky and SPUFOrange to not be white so you can actually read what's there.

Oh boy, this thing again!
 

 
The theme for my 2018 mosaic is Funny Faces! And since it might be hard to tell what some of these games are, here's a list:
1. A Hat in Time - just a nice little 3D-Platforming romp that reminds me why I loved games as a kid (even when they scared me a little!)
2. Team Fortress 2 - after all these years I still find myself getting pulled back in to it. That proves a lot, considering how quickly I get tired of most online multiplayer games.
3. Zelda Breath of the Wild - Trap Link best Link! (But Midna is still the best side character.)
4. Shovel Knight - It's too bad Shovel Knight and the boss knights don't have faces, because they would probably be more recognizable. Oh well!
5. Celeste - A game with simple but well-explored mechanics and a surprisingly heartfelt story.
6. DOOM 2016 - I think this game speaks for itself by now. Obviously I had to cheat for this funny face, because the demons' faces aren't particularly funny and Doomguy never takes off his helmet (and even if he did, I don't think he can make any expression besides an angry grimace)
7. Dark Souls 2 - Yeah, I know it's the much-hated middle child of the series, but it's the one that got me into the series. And furthermore:  BOOOONNE FIIISSSSST!
8. Super Mario Odyssey - This is a game full of fun little moments, and gives you the freedom to make such moments for yourself. I think this in-game screenshot taken by yours truly really captures the whimsical nature of the game.
9. SUPERHOT - ...An exploding red glass head is kinda funny, right? I hope so, because you'll see a lot of that in this game!

So close, and yet so far. 

"Its hard to come with moves for Waluigi"
 
"Heres Pirana Plant though"
 
?????

So, we've got ourselves another Smash Direct tomorrow, supposedly clocking in at 40 minutes! But why waste 40 minutes of your life tomorrow, when you can waste 5 minutes of your life right now?! That's right folks, LeakerAIDS Monkey is back, bringing you the most accurate and reliable Smash Bros leaks of all time! So, warning! There's gonna be some HUGE SPOILERS for Smash Ultimate! (I was gonna include some sweet pictures like I have in the past, but my undercover guy died out of delight while taking them. So I don't have any this time.)
 
 

I can't believe that Valve's most prolific development team member is going to be in Smash.

No damn update page though.

Heya there, my SPUFFriend! Remember back during my last post, where I cheated you out of a new Scream Fortress Idea by re-hashing an oldie from dead-SPUF? Well, I don’t. But I do remember that I promised that I’d bring some new and original TF2 Halloween content your way, so that’s what I’m here to do today! I’m gonna jump right into it, so get cozy in your little chair as I’ve got a lotta stuff to cover! (But a little less stuff than usual because no one actually reads this stuff, right?)
 
 
tl:dr version: The mercs confront a surfing vampire that has sent the moon on a crash curse with the Earth.
 
Yikes! Looks like the planet is in grave danger thanks to Rad Vlad’s carelessness! How are the mercenaries gonna be able to stop him? Glad you asked! So, the update will be split into 3 Days, much like past updates such as Love and War, each bringing all sorts of fun stuff! And UNLIKE Love and War, you’ll actually get to face off against the menacing monster on the last day!
 

Three days remain!
 
Day 1 will bring the stuff that no one cares about, such as hats and crates! The new hats will include all sorts of fun beach gear, as well as all sorts of spooky, community-made Halloween costumes for Pyro and nobody else. In the crates you can expect find one good (and rare) item, along with multiple low-tier trash hats, so you’ll have to spend lotsa money to get what you’re looking for. (Probably some kind of animal companion that'll become the most expensive item in the game.)
 
Day 2 will bring other exciting goodies. We can expect to see a lot of new taunts based on the update, including an all-class taunt where your merc hops on a surfboard and is propelled around by a small wave. Whee! There'd also be a new taunt, Dancylvania, where the mercs to an awfully spooky dance. And maybe if we’re lucky, Day 2 will bring a few new weapons. Like a wooden stake for Spy.
 
Day 3 will be the BIG day of the update, and the final showdown against the gnarly vampire himself! The new map, titled Vlad’s Castle, will be a control point map that takes place in Rad Vlad’s seaside home. The BLU mercenaries have discovered that in order to stop the moon from colliding with Earth, they must capture all the control points in the castle in order to turn off Rad Vlad’s moon machine! But that’s not gonna be very easy at all, because the RED Team will play the role of Rad Vlad’s surfer friends who also want in on the waves!
 

A special look inside the all new map, Rad Vlad's Flooding Castle!
 
But this control point map will be like no other! For you see, each time the BLU team captures a point, the water level will rise, causing Vlad’s Castle to flood bit by bit! This all new rising water mechanic will open up all sorts of new routes as the match progresses! The control points would be spread out across the multiple floors and rooms of Vlad's cool gothic castle, and would become accessible as water levels rise. But you must watch out for swarms of bats and other creepy creatures that may lurk within the walls of the castle, as they're always ready to pounce on you!
 
And beware, for once the second-to-last point is captured, Rad Vlad will take matters into his own hands and will materialize from a swarm of bats! That’s right, Rad Vlad will be making an appearance as the boss character of this update, what a surprise! Rad Vlad will attack both teams, and can be defeated like a normal boss. However, the final control point can still be captured even when Rad Vlad has spawned. But he’s still a major threat for everybody! He’d have many attacks at his disposal, such as charging you down on his coffin surfboard, sending massive waves your way, turning into a horde of bats, and tossing around highly dangerous and explosive BOMBS!
 

"Tonight I vill surf on a wave of blood! Ah-haha!" -Rad Vlad
 
Once Vlad is defeated, he won’t respawn again for the rest of the match, so the last control point can be captured (or defended) with ease, which will hopefully put an end to this train-wreck of a map! If BLU wins, the moon is returned back into space where it belongs, but if RED wins, the moon collides with Earth, killing everybody. Also upon Vlad's defeat, you will be rewarded with some kind of achievement, and an all new surfer hat based off Rad Vlad’s! But that’s not the only new achievement that’ll come with this update. As always, Valve will end up deciding to make an achievement where you have to win on the map 666 times. Have fun grinding to get that one, friends!
 
So, I guess that all wraps up this year’s spine-chilling Halloween Update Idea. While it’d be quite nice to get something this big and scary for Scream Fortress this year, we better not get our hopes too high. Because as we all know, TF2 is dead... and that is quite fitting for this spooky season! So expect nothing this year. Anywho, I’ll see you all next time when I bring back yet another classic from Old-SPUF that I’m sure none of you will remember! But until then, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing out!

To me, that sounds less like an issue of technology not improving and more of issues endemic in the video game industry. That is, "DO THINGS ASAP I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S BUGS WE HAVE A DEADLINE TO HIT" and just the unfortunate fact that most retro game developers are novices relative to the people that actually developed the retro games they're inspired by. It would be great if more developers took advantage of the technological advantages that we have access to now, but nowadays those new advantages are mostly things under the hood, that only nerds like us give a shit about. It doesn't sell copies to Joe Schmoe that doesn't give a shit. Technological advancement is entirely possible, it would just require a financial incentive on the part of developers, which would require the average person to be more computer literate.

Had a dream a couple of nights ago. My friends and I decided to meet up in one of our cities, and we chose my friend's city, the bustling metropolis of Linton, Indiana. Only the town was under attack by some Iron Giant looking motherfuckers and the town itself was more like a city-state with a king and various factions vying for power within it, these power struggles being worsened by the crisis of said Iron Giants stalking the land. Well we did some shit I don't remember and I met up with some friends from my elementary school days and then eventually we were invited to the King's Palace and we were sitting around a table on an elevated section of the room watching the King's speech. I leaned over and whispered a shitty joke to one of the elementary school friends then froze cause there was a huge glass smashing sound that came from the skylight above me. An Iron Giant had punched the skylight open and glass shards rained down on me; I remember thinking I should be bleeding but since I was in a cutscene I didn't take any damage. At that point there was general chaos and people were running around screaming and the King and his bodyguards started fighting the Iron Giant (I remember his guard doing the Assassin's Creed NPC combat pose). Now a decision was to be made - side with the King and defeat the Iron Giant or side with one of his councilors and kill him in the chaos. I think I was going to help the King but then I woke up.

Not intended to be that serious, but just something kicking around in my brain for a while.  Basically I realized that a lot of popular internet songs came from a variety of places throughout Europe, but were often divorced from that context when people saw them.  So I compiled a list of top two songs per European country that matter.
 
(Well, all the ones that matter except Poland.  I really really tried to get some songs from there, but the closest I came up with were from Sabaton, which can't count.  I suppose I could go with Chopin, but as my standard elsewhere was not to use two songs from the same band that still doesn't get me to two.)
 
This isn't intended to be definitive, since I had to stretch for a few countries.  So please bitch about my choices.  No really, please do that, I probably made suboptimal picks all over the place.
 
ENGLAND: