Honestly, the one thing that strikes out to me right now, the biggest thought that I really just need to get out there is this;
Stop trying to joke.
Because every time you've attempted to do some thing as a joke, it's either pissed people off, or worried everyone about the future of this forum.
In this case you managed both!
You don't know when to drop it when it's being taken too seriously (The April Fool's Banning "Joke" is more than enough evidence of this) and quite frankly, it's exasperating.
Not only that, but now it makes me start to question things you say.
Is this just another "joke"?
Or are you serious?
I don't want to have to constantly second-guess your statements, but this shit is going to make me start second-guessing.
And it has got to stop.