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Good old Jobel

​My roommate had two coworkers over - a girl, who I will henceforth refer to as "the coworker" and a guy, who I will henceforth refer to as "the pre-nerf natascha heavy", because he's a cunt who ruined a whole lot of shit. It was the coworker's 21st birthday so my roommate, his girlfriend, the coworker and the pre-nerf natascha heavy all went out. Apparently the pre-nerf natascha heavy got completely shitfaced. I don't know all the details but apparently natascha heavy was trying to hook up with the coworker and since they were both drunk, my roommate tried to be the good guy and kept them from fucking. As far as I know, he basically made pre-nerf natascha heavy sleep on the downstairs sofa by himself. So now it's four or five in the morning and fucking smoke alarms are going off. Roommate and I run downstairs to the kitchen first and all the shit's on fire. The shit's on fire on the floor, the shit's on fire on the door, the shit's on fire on the wall and the wall's on fire. Shit. My roommate rushes in there like a boss, grabs the extinguisher and puts it out immediately. At this point I'm so groggy and not in the mood to deal with any kind of anything that (according to him and my other roommates) the first thing out of my mouth upon seeing the chaos is "Man, that's a shitload of fire". This didn't register at the time, but oddly enough our front door is wide open when we get downstairs. Everyone exits the house. There's smoke everywhere. You can barely walk through the first floor. Everyone gets out safe, no one seems hurt and the fire's been taken care of, for the most part. There's only one person unaccounted for. Spoiler alert: it's natascha heavy and that dude is fucking gone. At first everyone's frantically looking for him because we think he may still be inside. Slowly people start to realize that he split, and was definitely responsible for the fire. My roommate's girlfriend and his coworker leave to check out where he parked, and his car is gone. His phone is off. Long story short, a ton of firefighters showed up at the house, the fire Marshall did a thorough investigation, as did the police who showed up. We were kept outside the house for several hours until a detective showed up, who told us that this was now a criminal investigation. Apparently the way the fire started was extremely suspicious and they might be charging this dude with attempted arson. Apparently he drove back to his house and the police picked him up there, although I'm not sure they flat out arrested the guy. Last I heard they were just getting his statement. The way I see it, one of a few things happened: Best case scenario, natascha heavy decided he was having a bad time and left. He smoked a cigarette in our house, unknowingly dropped some ash, stumbled outside without closing the door, turned his phone off so no one could reach him, and drove home drunk. Second best scenario, natascha heavy decided to smoke a cigarette in our house, dropped some ash, lit a whole bunch of shit on fire and noped the hell out of there without telling anyone. Probably because he was afraid of being caught with what I later learned was a substantial amount of weed in his car. Worst case scenario, he purposefully lit our fucking house on fire and left. The jury's still out on that one. At this point the rough estimates was something like $12,000 worth of damages just to the house. All of the living room furniture is done for because of the smoke and soot, which also traveled upstairs to the bedrooms. My roommate didn't close his door on the way out, and apparently the smoke has ruined most of his belongings as well. We'll be spending the next days carting everything that was affected outside so the crew we hired can do soot cleanup. It's a fucking mess and everyone is rightfully pissed. So that was my morning.

DELIVERIES Miku best purchase

I have a dorm all to myself because apparently not many people were interested in Nebraska for college prospects. It's very quiet and chill, except when I run into the /v/tard group that is currently in the "I am in college so I am an enlightened thinker! Let's talk about politics and how all ideologies besides ours suck!" The gym here is pretty baller though, and it's only a five minute walk away. Patiently waiting for my computer to get fixed so I can truly become reclusive.

I found my mom's missing goat next to some glasses

http://i.imgur.com/7Ly3h3n.jpg

   

Internet over. Everybody go home.