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Dualjay sat alone on the pier of a lake. The cold February winds coming off of the lake chilled him to the bone, but he was too sad to care. A single tear slowly rolled down his cheek and fell into his open palm. His tear-soaked palm held several small stones which he had spent the last half-hour plopping into the lake one by one. The stones caused his reflection to ripple, but even with his distorted reflection, Dualjay was able to make out that Skye standing behind him. Skye sat down next to Dualjay, carefully wiping a tear away from his cheek with his finger. "Why the tears, Dualjay?" Skye asked giving Dualjay a concerned look. "Ever since the >Rocky Mountain Man Quest 2012 no man has been able to satisfy me in bed. Rammite came back so pumped up with manliness from all the goat headbutting and air band rocking that he wore me out like a cheap pair of shoes." Dualjay answered, now even more tears rolling down his cheeks. Skye sighed and put an arm around Dualjay. He then said with his most comforting voice. "We've all been there my friend. One day you're on the top of the world. The next, not even the biggest bad dragon dildo can satisfy you. Have you tried paying a visit to Tyrone?" Dualjay nodded lightly and then looked away from Skye before quietly saying. "Not even Tyrone could do it for me, and you know how awesome of a bro he is." Skye looked at Dualjay with a shocked expression on his face. Thankfully, Dualjay was still too busy looking deeply into his own reflection in the water to notice. Skye didn't say anything to Dualjay, he just sat there and thought to himself. "If Tyrone couldn't satisfy him, then no mere mortal can." Huff slowly approached the two from behind, not sure if he was interrupting anything serious. "What has you two looking so gloom?" Huff asked, still a ways down the pier from them. Skye rubbed Dualjay's back and replied. "Dualjay can't find any man that can satisfy him, not even Tyrone with all his bro powers could." Dualjay grew more sad hearing this, and curled forward, barely able to keep himself from falling off of the pier. "Tisk tisk tisk." Huff said wiggling his finger at the two before continuing. "You should have came to me first with this problem. I could have saved you a lot of tears." Dualjay turned around almost instantly with a gleam of hope in his eyes. "It's simple, you just have to step up to double dongs." Huff said walking closer to the two. "Double dongs?" Dualjay and Skye said together with confused looks on their face. Huff gave them a sagely nod before answering. "It's simple, you just to have them use a strap-on too. It's twice the man, for half the price." Dualjay leapt to his feet and ran up to Huff, planting a man kiss on his lips. "Why don't they teach about double dongs in school? It could save so many lives." Dualjay declared walking past Huff with a skip in his step. Huff shed a tear of pride as he said. "They say I teach them... about double penitration, but it's really they who teach me... about double penetration." Dualjay didn't get two steps past Huff before a 1964 Buick Skylark Sport Wagon pulled onto the pier. It recklessly sped towards them, and then came to a screeching halt inches from hitting Dualjay. Skye quickly rose to his feet and raced towards Dualjay screaming. "That 1964 Buick Skylark Sport Wagon can only belong to one man... Tyrone!" They all gasped in unison as the door of the 1964 Buick Skylark SportWagon opened revealing an afro. "My Tyrone senses done been tinglin' all day. Who be talking smack about mah dick?" Tyrone shouted getting out of the car and walking towards the group. Dualjay pointed a shaking finger at Skye to try and frame him. Tyrone stared Skye down, removed the rings from his right hand, and then plunged his right fist right into his chest. "Skye!" Dualjay and Huff screamed out while watching Tyrone pull Skye's still beating heart out of his chest. "Messin' with Tyrone ain't fo the faint of heart." Tyrone said before swallowing Skye's heart whole. Huff shaking with anger shouted at Tyrone. "Tyrone is a real bro, he would never eat another bro's heart!" Tyrone started laughing. Then Tyrone's laugh started to change into a laugh Huff and Dualjay haven't heard in a long time. With a completely different voice Tyrone said. "It's true, Tyrone is a real bro. That's why he let me hollow out his stomach and turn him into my robot slave." Tyrone then took off his shirt and pulled back the skin on his stomach to reveal that Binary, the angry midget, was controlling Tyrone. "Binary! I was told you were killed with a bad dragon dildo on top of the rocky mountains." Dualjay screamed hiding behind Huff. "And why are you naked?" Huff questioned while forcing Dualjay out from behind him. Binary laughed before replying "The rocky mountains were only a setback, and do you have any idea how hot it gets in here? I'd sweat to death if I was wearing clothes." This gave Huff an idea to save the day. Huff leapt at Tyrone and pulled his already sagging pants down. "Dualjay look! DOUBLE DONGS!!!" Huff screamed falling at Tyrone's feet. Dualjay looked at Tyrone and Binary and saw it was true. With Binary hanging out of Tyrone's torso, there was indeed double the dong. "I must embrace my double dong destiny" Dualjay screamed while leaping to save the day. Then everyone remembered that Dualjay died at the end of the Rocky Mountain Man Quest 2012, so he was a ghost the whole time. The end.

Almost two years ago, I gave away the majority of my Team Fortress 2 backpack, figured I would repeat the process with my Dota 2 inventory... Because I'm bored. I've already sold my most valuable items, sorry about that, but that was ~$40 I would rather have for myself. Anything that is tradeable in my inventory can be yours per request. Regarding the few completed sets I have in there, I'll let you have the entire set if you want it. Not much point in getting one random item from a set without the rest of them. While we're at it, feel free to ask for Team Fortress stuff, if anyone still plays that game. Only things I'm not willing to part with for sentimental reasons are gifted items. If no one wants anything, I'll donate the stuff to joinDOTA so they can put them up for raffles. http://steamcommunity.com/id/wulffen/inventory/#570

Honestly didn't know nor expect to be invited to a secret group of SPUFers... Basically, Allrounder in TF2, although most say I'm a Scout/Sniper main. Collecting Stranges is what I fancy, alongside Craft Numbers. So here I am, subSPUF!

i think you mean double dong dammit

shit nigga

When it comes to Xboxes: better safe than sorry. I've had all sorts of weird-ass problems with the three different 'Boxes I've used (they all don't work anymore) and it seems like the disc-reader-things are like the first things to break on them.

Depends on the x360 model. Earlier versions could scratch the disc, and I'd assume that putting weight on it could worsen that issue

Alright, I've decided to buy a DeathAdder - I know some people irl who have one and love them. Now, let's hope I can survive with this sad mouse until it arrives.

pre-reading: dammit post-reading: double dammit

a heartwarming story about a little boy and his desire to be double-donged

Bumming through my folder and rediscovered a pic I took in PS2-Beta Lag + Vehicle Spawns = This shit

That Knight image is a remake of this one btw

Dec 4th, 2012 We all met at the base of the Rocky Mountains right before dawn, as we had agreed upon the night before. Magickus and Corvette arrived together, Guy arrived shortly after them, and Rammite was the last to show up, barely making it on time. We were all there with a common goal in mind. We were going to climb to the peak of the Rocky Mountains to retrieve the legendary hooker tree of legend. A tree that, if the stories were true, could grow hookers of every type for who ever was man enough to climb to the mountain's peak. "Took me forever to get away from the ol' ball and chain, sorry about that. Had to leave him tied up to a bondage device just to give him the slip." Rammite told us arriving in a hurry. Since Rammite and Dualjay started having dragon dildo sex, Rammite has always been too busy for his friends. It seemed like all he wanted to do every day is put semen lube on a dragon dildo and ♥♥♥♥ Dualjay in a dragon costume. It was nice to see him again. After going over a check list of all the supplies we were sure to need, we began are quest for the legendary hooker tree. The most important part of our quest was a MP3 player playing "Rocky Mountain Way" by Joe Walsh, since the legend says that the song was required for us to find... the way to the legendary hooker tree. For reasons we didn't know at the time, Magickus made sure that he brought grape drink margaritas with him. Rammite being Rammite, he made sure to bring several dragon dildos with him as well. The legend forbid us from using any mountain climbing gear, since only the manliest of the manly are worthy for the hooker tree, but thankfully all SPUFers are secretly super buff in real life, so climbing the mountain by hand was incredibly easy for us. We spent several hours easily climbing up the mountain while listening to "Rocky Mountain Way," and you know what they say, time sure does fly when you're climbing up a mountain with your bare hands. After several intense and manly hours of mountain climbing, it was time for our afternoon steak, so we stopped for a rest on a nearby ledge. Luckily, there were some mountain goats we were able to punch to death to get the meat for our afternoon steaks. Guy prepared a fire to cook the steaks with by punching a pile of twigs so fast they caught on fire. Of course, the manliest way to eat a steak is raw, so the fire was really just for the manly atmosphere. All those hours of climbing the mountain by hand had bonded us in a way that you could only get from climbing a mountain with just your hands with other buff dudes from the internet could. We sat by the fire and swapping stories, arm wrestled, and breaking rocks with our fists. I could really tell that Rammite needed this man time, he was being himself again. I almost forgot how much he loved headbutting mountain goats. We were having a good time, until we all started getting tired all of a sudden. After a while, we could barely even arm wrestle we were so tired, and it was then that Guy revealed his true colors. "Enjoy those steaks?" Guy gloated between laughs. "What have you done to us?" I asked barely able to stand. Guy smirked and said "When you weren't looking, I swapped your steaks with... TOFU!!!" Of course tofu is like kryptonite to manly men, which explains why it was making us pass-out. "I knew we couldn't trust you guy, the Mexican half of you was destined to betray us at the most dramatic point possible from the start." Magickus yelled before falling to the ground. Guy then went and took all our MP3 players. "Now you'll never be able to find the way, the "Rocky Mountain WAY without Joe Walsh!" Guy said throwing them over the cliff. "Little did you know, I had been working with Binary the entire time. Binary has a plan to make an entire farm of hooker trees, and he's going to cut me in on the profits." Guy then opened up his backpack and revealed that Binary had been hiding in there the whole time. Binary, is of course an angry buff midget who is always trying to start hooker farms, but always failing due to the fact he's an angry buff midget. Before we could even try to fight back, Guy had started climbing back up the mountain with Binary on his back. We just watched as disappeared from our sight, and soon we had all collapsed on the ground. End Part 1 :pinkiegasm:

Part 2 No amount of struggling was going counter the effects of the tofu. The pussy virus was already flowing through our veins. Corvette even started to grow miniature vaginas all over his face, since he just had to have a second steak, and the extra tofu was turning him into a literal pussy. We were stuck just laying there with no hope in sight, then Corvette said something we should have thought of instantly "What would Bruce Campbell do?" That was it, the answer was before us the whole time. Then in unison, we yell out "A training montage with lots of close ups and jump cuts followed by an awesome catch-phrase at the end!!!" *Cue training montage music* We did thirty solid minutes of training montages, and we slowly but surely got our strength back each time the imaginary camera cut back to us. After we spouted off our manly catch-phrases, we were fully healed of the pussy virus. I went for the classic "Groovy," while Corvette, Rammite, and Magickus went for an "All for one and one for all" type deal, but with dragon dildos instead of swords. Thanks to the power of training montages, when we were done, we were even more buff and manly than we were before Guy had poisoned us. "How are we going to catch up to Guy, he has a good thirty minutes on us?" Corvette asked stroking his chin. "Better yet, how are we going to find the legendary hooker tree without Joe Walsh's 'Rocky Mountain Way' to lead the... way" I asked before being interrupted by Magickus. "Air band." That was all Magickus had to say, because in that second we knew exactly what we had to do, and we all started air rocking as hard as humanly possible. The power of the air band started making Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way" play all around us, and then we even started floating into the air. The harder we rocked, the faster we flew up into the sky. Soon we were flying faster than we could have ever climbed at even our fastest pace. "At this rate we'll catch up to Guy" Rammite said stopping his air rocking for a brief second. "Just keep your focus on playing those drums, Rammy baby." I said while doing my wicked awesome guitar solo. It didn't take long before we saw the peak of the mountain grow closer and closer. Though, when we got to the top, we saw that we were in fact too late. The hooker tree had been cut down, and Binary was standing there with axe in hand. Before any of us could comment, Magickus pulled out that grape drink margarita he had brought with him. "Is that what I think it is" Guy said not breaking eye contact with the grape drink margarita. "Indeed it is, Guy. I knew your Mexican half was going to betray us, so I planned ahead." Magickus said throwing the grape drink margarita off the side of the mountain. Guy then jumped after the grape drink margarita yelling "GRAAAAPPPEEEE DRRRIIINNNKKK!!!" Without Guy to protect him, Binary was defenseless. We all started to close in on Binary to get our revenge. "One step closer and I'll use this." Binary said revealing that he had a copy of Twilight. "No, not that, anything but that." I cried out in pure fear. Rammite did some quick thinking and pulled out a dragon dildo and threw it like a javelin into Binary's mouth. The dragon dildo blocked his airways, and Binary was soon choking to death. After a couple of minutes of spasming on the ground, Binary was dead. Corvette then kicked his body off of the mountain, and watched it vanish from sight. After a while, the realization that the hooker tree had been cut down set in, and our feeling of victory turned into defeat. "Was this quest just a waste of time" Rammite said wiping a single manly tear from his eye. We just stood there in silence for at least a good minute until we heard a loud voice coming from down the mountain. "Who dares cut down my hooker tree." The voice said getting closer and louder. It wasn't long before the mystery voice revealed its self, because before us stood Joe Walsh. "It wasn't us, it was an angry midget named Binary who cut down your tree." I said trying to reason with Joe Walsh. "Where is this angry midget then, all I see four buff dudes?" Joe Walsh questioned. "Dammit Corvette, why did you have to push his body off the mountain?" Magickus said punching Corvette in the shoulder. "You dare try and fool Joe Walsh? For that you'll die!" Joe Walsh said shooting lightning from his finger tips. We all fell to the ground in pain, and we were sure that we were going to die. That was until Guy came out of nowhere, and jumped on Joe Walsh's back. "Guy, I thought you had betrayed us." Magickus said still paralyzed from the lightning. "You forget that I'm also half black, which means I have to sacrifice myself in the last moment to save a bunch of white people." Guy said forcing Joe Walsh closer to the edge of the mountain. Rammite using his last bit of strength threw his last remaining dragon dildo to Guy. "Dragon dildos, my only weakness" Joe Walsh cried out in fear. Guy then stabbed the dragon dildo into Joe Walsh's heart, and they both fell off the mountain. We crawled our way over to the edge of the mountain, and there we saw the dead bodies of Guy and Joe Walsh smashed upon the rocks. "No hooker tree and three people died all because of this stupid man quest." Corvette said dropping to his knees. "No wait, we never needed the hooker tree in the first place. There are plenty of hookers for us to pay for sex that don't grow on trees." I said in a moment of clarity. "He's right, maybe it's more about the journey than the destination anyways." Rammite said slowly standing to his feet. We then held hands and skipped down the mountain together, and Binary, Guy, and Joe Walsh were never heard from again. Then we all got laid, expect for Dualjay, who died in a semen lube based fire, since Rammite had tied him up in that bondage device, and he couldn't escape. THE END!!! :pinkiegasm: