TheOnlyGuyEver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfsOgarSc-Q  youtube does not allow embedding, but fuck, this one is worth posting anyway
"it's fake, it's fake"
"oh well, mine's real"
my sides left the orbit

I swear this style is just like one I saw in some webcomic that I forgot.
 
What I'm saying is, if you wrote a webcomic TOGE, give us a link.

New character doodle: Claire
 

 
She rollerblades. Really proud about that hand holding the remote there. Didn't even take that long and it looks so good! Eat my fuckin improvement, fuckers.

Incase you didn't hear last month, this happened: 
 
 
Allow me to explain the significance of this if you don't understand. In 2002, Bryan Bosshardt, one of the OG gods of Goldeneye speedrunning, set 53 seconds as the world record for the first level of the game, Dam. Before this video happened, over 100 people had matched his world record, over the course of 15 years. It was no small feat, but became the "beginner" WR to aim for. 0:53 was the record for 15 years. People ran the level, no doubt thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times, maybe even a million times, for 15 years, and could not get any lower than 53 seconds.
 
Eventually it became known that a 52 was theoretically possible through TAS, but because it was TAS, it was virtually impossible that a man could actually do it. But Karl Jobst is no man. He is a god.
 
In the above run, Karl Jobst, after 250 hours of playing Dam, has the fucking planets align under a blue moon on a white Christmas in July. So many things went right in this run. A boost is when a guard propels you forward by shooting you. On Dam, getting 1 boost is semi-rare. Getting 2 is rare. Getting 3 boosts is fucking mega-rare. Karl only had 3 runs throughout the entire 250 hours where he had 3 boosts. And in one of those 3 boost runs, the big metal gate, which still nobody knows what affects the speed of it opening, opened fast (the fastest gate that he had ever seen, he said), AND he got a perfect shot on the lock, which is often where people choke runs, AND the alarm went off late (after he shot the lock) which prevents soldiers from coming out and causing lag. All these things lining up ONCE in the course of 250 hours, combined with the razor-thin perfection of his strafing, finally got a time which was just BARELY a 52. Like if he were as little as 2 or 3 frames slower, it would have been a 53 instead, and Karl would've been in for another 250 hours of Dam. Karl basically human-TAS'd Dam in what was literally the perfect run, after 15 years of culminated attempts from the entire Goldeneye speedrunning community.
 
I absolutely do not think that anybody is ever going to get a Dam 52 anytime soon again. The chance of all the RNG lining up so perfectly combined with having perfect movement is so unbelievably fucking minuscule, I think it's going to be many years until a Dam run this perfect happens again to the right player. 15 years. 250 hours on a 53 second level. 1 Dam 52.

Incase you didn't hear last month, this happened: 
 
 
Allow me to explain the significance of this if you don't understand. In 2002, Bryan Bosshardt, one of the OG gods of Goldeneye speedrunning, set 53 seconds as the world record for the first level of the game, Dam. Before this video happened, over 100 people had matched his world record, over the course of 15 years. It was no small feat, but became the "beginner" WR to aim for. 0:53 was the record for 15 years. People ran the level, no doubt thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times, maybe even a million times, for 15 years, and could not get any lower than 53 seconds.
 
Eventually it became known that a 52 was theoretically possible through TAS, but because it was TAS, it was virtually impossible that a man could actually do it. But Karl Jobst is no man. He is a god.
 
In the above run, Karl Jobst, after 250 hours of playing Dam, has the fucking planets align under a blue moon on a white Christmas in July. So many things went right in this run. A boost is when a guard propels you forward by shooting you. On Dam, getting 1 boost is semi-rare. Getting 2 is rare. Getting 3 boosts is fucking mega-rare. Karl only had 3 runs throughout the entire 250 hours where he had 3 boosts. And in one of those 3 boost runs, the big metal gate, which still nobody knows what affects the speed of it opening, opened fast (the fastest gate that he had ever seen, he said), AND he got a perfect shot on the lock, which is often where people choke runs, AND the alarm went off late (after he shot the lock) which prevents soldiers from coming out and causing lag. All these things lining up ONCE in the course of 250 hours, combined with the razor-thin perfection of his strafing, finally got a time which was just BARELY a 52. Like if he were as little as 2 or 3 frames slower, it would have been a 53 instead, and Karl would've been in for another 250 hours of Dam. Karl basically human-TAS'd Dam in what was literally the perfect run, after 15 years of culminated attempts from the entire Goldeneye speedrunning community.
 
I absolutely do not think that anybody is ever going to get a Dam 52 anytime soon again. The chance of all the RNG lining up so perfectly combined with having perfect movement is so unbelievably fucking minuscule, I think it's going to be many years until a Dam run this perfect happens again to the right player. 15 years. 250 hours on a 53 second level. 1 Dam 52.

Incase you didn't hear last month, this happened: 
 
 
Allow me to explain the significance of this if you don't understand. In 2002, Bryan Bosshardt, one of the OG gods of Goldeneye speedrunning, set 53 seconds as the world record for the first level of the game, Dam. Before this video happened, over 100 people had matched his world record, over the course of 15 years. It was no small feat, but became the "beginner" WR to aim for. 0:53 was the record for 15 years. People ran the level, no doubt thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times, maybe even a million times, for 15 years, and could not get any lower than 53 seconds.
 
Eventually it became known that a 52 was theoretically possible through TAS, but because it was TAS, it was virtually impossible that a man could actually do it. But Karl Jobst is no man. He is a god.
 
In the above run, Karl Jobst, after 250 hours of playing Dam, has the fucking planets align under a blue moon on a white Christmas in July. So many things went right in this run. A boost is when a guard propels you forward by shooting you. On Dam, getting 1 boost is semi-rare. Getting 2 is rare. Getting 3 boosts is fucking mega-rare. Karl only had 3 runs throughout the entire 250 hours where he had 3 boosts. And in one of those 3 boost runs, the big metal gate, which still nobody knows what affects the speed of it opening, opened fast (the fastest gate that he had ever seen, he said), AND he got a perfect shot on the lock, which is often where people choke runs, AND the alarm went off late (after he shot the lock) which prevents soldiers from coming out and causing lag. All these things lining up ONCE in the course of 250 hours, combined with the razor-thin perfection of his strafing, finally got a time which was just BARELY a 52. Like if he were as little as 2 or 3 frames slower, it would have been a 53 instead, and Karl would've been in for another 250 hours of Dam. Karl basically human-TAS'd Dam in what was literally the perfect run, after 15 years of culminated attempts from the entire Goldeneye speedrunning community.
 
I absolutely do not think that anybody is ever going to get a Dam 52 anytime soon again. The chance of all the RNG lining up so perfectly combined with having perfect movement is so unbelievably fucking minuscule, I think it's going to be many years until a Dam run this perfect happens again to the right player. 15 years. 250 hours on a 53 second level. 1 Dam 52.

Incase you didn't hear last month, this happened: 
 
 
Allow me to explain the significance of this if you don't understand. In 2002, Bryan Bosshardt, one of the OG gods of Goldeneye speedrunning, set 53 seconds as the world record for the first level of the game, Dam. Before this video happened, over 100 people had matched his world record, over the course of 15 years. It was no small feat, but became the "beginner" WR to aim for. 0:53 was the record for 15 years. People ran the level, no doubt thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times, maybe even a million times, for 15 years, and could not get any lower than 53 seconds.
 
Eventually it became known that a 52 was theoretically possible through TAS, but because it was TAS, it was virtually impossible that a man could actually do it. But Karl Jobst is no man. He is a god.
 
In the above run, Karl Jobst, after 250 hours of playing Dam, has the fucking planets align under a blue moon on a white Christmas in July. So many things went right in this run. A boost is when a guard propels you forward by shooting you. On Dam, getting 1 boost is semi-rare. Getting 2 is rare. Getting 3 boosts is fucking mega-rare. Karl only had 3 runs throughout the entire 250 hours where he had 3 boosts. And in one of those 3 boost runs, the big metal gate, which still nobody knows what affects the speed of it opening, opened fast (the fastest gate that he had ever seen, he said), AND he got a perfect shot on the lock, which is often where people choke runs, AND the alarm went off late (after he shot the lock) which prevents soldiers from coming out and causing lag. All these things lining up ONCE in the course of 250 hours, combined with the razor-thin perfection of his strafing, finally got a time which was just BARELY a 52. Like if he were as little as 2 or 3 frames slower, it would have been a 53 instead, and Karl would've been in for another 250 hours of Dam. Karl basically human-TAS'd Dam in what was literally the perfect run, after 15 years of culminated attempts from the entire Goldeneye speedrunning community.
 
I absolutely do not think that anybody is ever going to get a Dam 52 anytime soon again. The chance of all the RNG lining up so perfectly combined with having perfect movement is so unbelievably fucking minuscule, I think it's going to be many years until a Dam run this perfect happens again to the right player. 15 years. 250 hours on a 53 second level. 1 Dam 52.

I made an edit for the rocket to be closer to the point of origin, I think that makes it look slightly better:
 

Very nice! I did something similar once:
 

I actually dreamed I was a 40 year old-looking German doctor. My mercenary days were over and I had retired, living in a nice house, going to the beach regularly. I look pretty good despite actually being about 80 thanks to my awesome technology that I'm now vaguely famous for. I don't have kids or anything but I am friendly with my neighbours and their two kids. One day, I get a call from Spy. He's visiting someone or other and wants to visit me. I'm taking the kids down to the beach, and Spy decides he wants to visit me then.
 
Spy looks amazingly well, despite the fact that I know he's not been using my technology and all that. The weather is weird, oddly cloudy and windy, even though it's August. But the wind picks up and I think there's an earthquake and lightning too. Everyone on the rather packed beach runs into a bunch of shelters. The kids go with a younger friend of my neighbours, while I help someone who's got all tangled up in something. I find myself in an old storage room full of old arcade amusement thingies. Spy is there too.
 
Suddenly Spy stabs me and I find I can't move. He says he wants to take my body. Because somehow my body is nicer than his body. Keeping in mind that I'm an 80 year old who looks like a 40 year old. He sticks something in my neck and I start seeing his memories. Over the last 4 years, he has been using natural disasters as a cover for stealing people's bodies, transferring his mind into a new body then leaving his old body in the wreckage.
 
I fight back, as best I can. A door breaks down and Heavy comes rampaging in, and Spy somehow makes me attack him. Turns out Heavy is aware of the shit Spy has been up to. Heavy breaks my arms then knocks Spy out, pausing his mind transfer thingy.
 
Heavy then carries me to what looks like an old part of the map Koth_King, and Engineer and Demoman are there. Demo is more robot than human and he and Heavy beat the shit out of Spy while Engy fixes me up. Before long, I'm fine (apart from the broken arm), but Spy disappears, never to be seen again.

FBIce cream truck

Mannnn, fuckin shitty bullshit dream last night. So I was making a pizza, right? Some dude knocks on my door. I vaguely recognize him as one of my brother's old school friends, though I don't think he actually was. Dude whips out a switchblade and starts shanking me, piece a shit. Had to force the shank from his hand and drive him outta the house with it, then I called 911 and woke up. Guess dream-911 is just going back to the real world where you're not shanked.
 
Didn't even get to eat the pizza...

Ban Abbicus.

FBIce cream truck

Mannnn, fuckin shitty bullshit dream last night. So I was making a pizza, right? Some dude knocks on my door. I vaguely recognize him as one of my brother's old school friends, though I don't think he actually was. Dude whips out a switchblade and starts shanking me, piece a shit. Had to force the shank from his hand and drive him outta the house with it, then I called 911 and woke up. Guess dream-911 is just going back to the real world where you're not shanked.
 
Didn't even get to eat the pizza...

The Phoviverse is basically a stupid fictional universe with a bunch of non-human species. The stories are convoluted, the characters are bat shit insane, the locations are poorly fleshed out and Death has massive tits.
 
I've been wondering when to post this. I put off posting this last year because 1. I was mostly in a bad mood, and 2. a lot of my current story arcs were all kinda... deep? It was either tantrums between the three main deities, somewhat boring political banter or all the stupid deranged magic stuff that a certain someone was working on.
 
But now it's the new year and I've tied up most of the loose ends from 2017 and started with some much more down to earth story arcs, featuring nicer characters and shit that's easier to understand. The Happy Cold follows Psiksi, a former super-soldier sort of guy starting a new job as a gladiator fighter, while Gath and Retvik's Mini Adventure is basically me doing something I should have done for the couple ages ago. I also hope to flesh out some more species and locations in the near future.
 
It's worth mentioning that almost every story occurs on or around the day it was written, unless specified otherwise. So if you really wanted to, you could start on page 40 of my Stories section and read everything in chronological order from there. I wouldn't recommend it though.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/248330/Dino_Run_DX/
 
Dino Run DX is as cheap as it's ever been right now. For a little over a dollar, It's well worth I'd say. All sales from here on go towards funding Dino Run 2, as well.

This is the meme I miss most from SPUF, I think.

Had a kick-ass fuckin radical dream last night. I flew to Australia and enlisted in the military. And of course because it's Australia there's giant bugs and shit.
 
During bootcamp I got in the bed on a pickup with some other dudes and we went down this kind of trenched backroad. On the right it was all woods, on the left a big field, which turned into woods eventually. So we're driving and then a fuckin big ass herd of these big ass bugs starts moving down the field going the opposite direction of us. They were called "great converse beetles" and looking like centipedes, except the segments were fatter and rounder, and only had an exoskeleton on the top, which was black, and their bellies were red, with white fur where their legs began. They kinda moved on the back half of their set of legs, with the front half of themselves held up off the ground, looking forward.
 
Oh and they were also 250 feet tall from belly to back and 150 feet long from head to tail. Apparently they were super aggressive if you got near them bu otherwise didn't care if you kept your distance.
 
So we're driving with these giant fuckin great converse beetles going opposite to the left of us, and then a herd of giant fuckin goats the size of the beetles come outta the woods at the far left of the field and start battering the beetles, so now the giant goats and the giant beetles are fighting and killing each other. Shit was awesome.
 
Eventually I left Australia cause I had a dentist appointment.
 
And to think my dream the night before was literally just me taking a shower and then playing SMB1 on the NES.

Mannnnn I don't wanna meet any of you fuckers.

You can always google "HOW TO MAKE BOMB MUST KILL 10+" and get yourself on a couple.

So I bought a PS4 just after Christmas because fuck it I was back home for a bit and didn't have much to do. Literally only own Persona 5 for it at the moment but holy shit the game's good.
 
I'm generally pretty fucking bad at playing Singleplayer games. I've been playing on PC most of my life and I always found myself getting bored of almost every single game after launching it once, bur P5 has been a massive exception. I planned to play Persona 3 and 4 before playing 5, and tried emulating 3 but I found I had the same problem, I was always alt-tabbing, checking discord and shit like that and could never really concentrate on the game. Alongside that I found very quickly that my 'RPG Perfectionism' kicked in and I was looking for the best strategies to do everything before I had even really gotten anywhere in the game. Since then I built a new PC and never got round to re-installing the emulator and downloading the ROMs, so the idea of playing the previous games went on the backburner.
 
Like I said, I'm home for Christmas so I finally decided to bite the bullet and pick up a PS4. I'm honestly shocked at how much I've enjoyed P5 so far. I'm putting it down to playing on console as opposed to PC, but it feels like I'm actually able to concentrate on playing the game, and I'm actively avoiding most resources to do with the game (with the exception of the bios of a couple of enemies who can only be damaged by one element and will run away if not killed quick enough, because those are just fucking frustrating). The game presents its story really well, and going through it genuinely feels like you're uncovering a mystery to some degree. The combat is really fun, and uncovering and exploiting weaknesses is really fun, and in my experience with the game I've felt like that majority of things I've encountered have been challenging enough to the point that I can never just auto though combat, but not so hard that I'm having to continuously re-try the second I make any mistake. That being said, there are some parts of combat that are quite frustrating. If the self insert main character dies in combat then you automatically fail, no matter the status of the rest of your party members. This leads to a lot of situations where if you get unlucky the enemy AI can all target your character in their turn, and you can just get killed in one cycle. Seemingly the only protection against this is to just prioritise the MC over anyone else when it comes to healing etc (if the fight is going to go on for more than two or so turns) or to make sure you get an ambush on whatever enemy you're fighting, and then hope that its a group you can kill within all your party members initial turns (which is how 95% of combat goes). Because of those factors, its hard to really know when you go into combat how it will go. This really isn't a problem in boss fights as when you fail you're allowed to immediately start over from the beginning of the fight, however it's frustrating when you're going through the games dungeons as a lot of the time the save points can be fairly spread out or annoyingly placed. Specifically in the third dungeon there is 1 save point a little way into it, the second save point is only accessible after going through a series of relatively hard to navigate traps, quite a lot of fights, and finally a mini-boss. However immediately after you access the second save point, you go down an elevator, and the first thing you are greeted by is the third save point, which you don't have to go through anything else to access. My final gripe with the game is that as each dungeon unlocks, you get given a certain number of in game days to go through it. The faster you finish the dungeon, the more of those days you have left over to do side activities. This leads to a couple of problems. I've inherently found that I feel like I'm rushed to  go through each dungeon, as the game allows you to do two 'side activities' each day, unless you engage in any form of combat activity (through the main dungeon or the long side dungeon) in which case that eats both actions for the day. Because of this the game goes through a cycle where you'll spend a few continuous hours doing nothing but combat, puzzles etc which will end in a boss fight, and then the next few hours of game time will be nothing but reading (admittedly very engaging) story developments, where despite the 'Visual Novel' type of approach the game takes, I've ultimately felt like I have no real control of what happens past the simple selection of "engage with character X today". The second major problem with how the game sets dungeons out is that in the second dungeon you get told "Hey here's a place that you cant get past, you have to do something outside the dungeon in order to progress further. You're gonna see this shit happen from now on". This only adds to the feeling of being rushed through dungeons, as when you reach a save point your parties health and SP doesn't get restored. Therefore, I feel as though I need to progress as far as I possibly can because I may just be greeted by one of these gated areas at any moment, and the idea that I could enter a dungeon as my action for that day, and in the first door I go through be told "Yeah alright gotta leave the dungeon in order to get past here get fucked". The most annoying bit is that I have only ever encountered this mechanic once, and that was when it was introduced in the second dungeon (I'm currently about 55 hours into the game and I'm about to enter the fifth dungeon) so in my experience so far its as though they introduced the mechanic and immediately forgot about it. If done right that mechanic could help break up the feeling of being rushed through dungeons, however on the opposite end it could be frustrating if they were regular occurrences, as you could be forced out of progressing further in a dungeon even if your party was in perfect shape. Ultimately I don't think it's a problem that could really be solved, however I wish it could be. Perhaps if I continued playing on Hard it would feel better, however I had to turn the difficulty down as it really was Hard and I don't feel as though I know the Persona games well enough to warrant doing that.
 
So yeah, there's all my problems with the game and despite all that I fucking love it. I'm honestly blown away by it. Aside from the few frustrating bits I just mentioned the game has somehow managed to keep the interest of someone who is really never able to play any singleplayer game. From what I've read there's about 100 hours of content in the game for a first playthrough. I feel as though I've probably progressed faster than that, as where I am in the story seems to be getting pretty damn serious now, however I could be completely wrong and I may have ages to go yet (which would make me VERY fucking happy). If I finished the game, and never touched it or my PS4 again I don't think I could say that I feel as though I wasted my money, that's how much I've enjoyed it (although I do plan to play FFXII and FFXV after finishing P5).
 
It's a good game lads, if you have a PS4 already I'd definitely say to pick it up, and if someone was looking to get a PS4 because of Persona 5 I'd say go for it.

So... guard dog update?

Eh, someone's gotta support our local stores. Especially this time of year.