Mersopolis

Last night I dreamt some kind of apocalypse happened and the entire world had turned into a desert. For some reason it was my job to do the rapturing so time stopped, I was turned into a giant and had to walk through the desert and peel the meat off all the people one by one and put their tiny skeletons back in place just like they stood when time froze. It was a really dull and tedious job and the heat was unbearable, until I turned a corner and some of my friends were at a swimming pool calling me to join in and the water in the pool was the most beautiful thing I ever saw

Last night I dreamt that I was at home relaxing. I had just gotten out of the shower and was walking around butt-naked, when I noticed this man in a red coat on the lawn. I opened a window and called out to him, I told him that he was on private property and that he had best leave now. Immediately he pulled out a device from under his coat that looked like a gun and pointed it straight fucking at me. I quickly ducked away from the window and moved into another room while this weird of feeling of dread filled my stomach, I can't really explain it, but if you've ever been in a situation where you think there is a genuine chance you might die, you'll know what I mean. So I sit tight for a few moments before I peek out of the window and I see the guy still outside with his rifle-looking item and he's walking around scanning the exterior of my house. I decide that enough is enough and scramble into my bedroom to grab my phone.
 
I dial 112 (Which is my country's equivalent of 911) but I get an automated message saying that the emergency service phone number has recently been changed to 115 and the line I am currently on is now for postal service complaints. So I dial 115 instead and I get an automated message stating that a strange red-coated man has been reported in my neighborhood and if I am calling about that, there is nothing to worry about unless you've made contact with the man. The message then prompted me to "Press One" if I had made contact with the red-coated man. So I press one and I get put on hold to very stereotypical and cheesy waiting music.
 
At this point I decide to take my fucking chances and I grab a blanket and run out of the house as fast as I can, still butt-naked, only covering myself with said blanket. I don't see the red-coated guy anywhere and I am ducking and weaving in random directions through various different gardens and brushes. I finally get to the outskirt of the city when my call to the police department goes through. I get on the line with this police officer who is talking to me in a very soft and sing-songy voice as if I was a toddler. He asks me if I am having trouble with the red-coated man and I scream at him that yes I fucking am. At that moment I spot the red-coated man out of the corner of my eye. He is marching straight towards me, raised rifle and all. As he closes the distance, I drop my phone and just charge at him. He doesn't fire at me or anything, he just walks intently towards me with a stern look on his face as I rush towards him.
 
Once I get right on top of him, I slap the rifle out of his hands and he just bursts into flames. Not like exploded into gibs or anything, but he just fucking caught fire. As he burned he smiled at me and gave me a nod of approval and then I woke up.

A long time ago, I watched Pocahontas, which has a raccoon as a minor character.

the bagel was too hot at first so i had it sit for a little bit and then i ate i while it was still a little too hot but then as i ate it it was pretty good and i enjoyed it until law of marginal returns kicked in and then i hit peak enjoyment and then i started to enjoy it less and then i finished it. here's a full graph of my findings
 

security update patch notes
-added unsecure scripts

sounds like you can build a sick fort with extra storage room

I had anightmare that I went home and my cat didn't love me any more :(

Real bizarre one.
 
It started out as a normal vacation to Seattle and we were boarding a ship for some kind of ocean tour. I think someone recognized the name on my jacket and asked who I was and I explained that it was my parent's jacket. I think that after that, somehow the dream morphed into complete sci-fi.
 
So the start of the sci-fi arm of the dream was like a movie trailer. It showed a lot of shots of the ship we were on: It was a gloomy, poorly lit and waaay too large ship. I'm talking like huge ceilings and expanses of dark lit by three blue lights. One of the most notable things was that the "top" of the ship held escape pods, and rather than having a simple way to access them, whenever a crew member's life was threatened jets on their suit would activate and whoosh them into a pod and eject them. In a movie-like cutaway, it is revealed that the ship was sanctioned by Earth's leader to find a source of immortality for humanity.
 
Now this is where things get weird because the leader is an ancient vampire who is sustaining the ship (magically?) and keeping the crew from aging somehow. However, as the ship moves further away the vampire's ability to sustain the crew weakens. In my dream I had the distinct feeling that the vampire was on Earth and telepathically doing this but now I think he might have been the captain of the ship, either way, that's a problem.
 
Then of course the movie-dream shifts and we are boarded surreptitiously by aliens. They use cloaking that makes them almost invisible except for a single point of blue light that gives them away. Naturally the crew shoots them when they see them, but over time and multiple different fights it's clear that they're going to keep coming. After a moment where my dad (I'm as confused as you are on this cameo) fights one hand-to-hand, the aliens seem to have some kind of contact-poison on their skin that drives humans to some kind of temporary rage and then coma; this wasn't encountered before because we all had firearms.
 
All throughout this, I was internally smirking because my dream-self knew for certain that he had "already seen this movie" and remembered a review that said that it was actually really shitty. So I was looking at all of this the same way people would look at a so-bad-its-good movie, while everyone around me was freaking out and shooting aliens.

You know that the "Easy comes, easy goes" saying is pretty real when you get a free pizza and when noone was looking a centipede manages to get inside the box.

It's cool to not care about things you're cool man wow apathy is the most attractive character trait a man can have you must be drowning in pussy wow

Spiderman-level is nothing to sneeze at. More than raw power (which he has, lifting 16 tons is pretty grand), his powers have a bit of variety to them (super agility/stamina/strength, limited precognition, various mobility powers) so you're not just stuck with the "Luke Cage package" (strong, durable, nothin' else).
 
1, 4, and 5 are the best options. 1 is the shortest and the latter two may as well have never happened at all. If you don't and can't remember it (and there are no lasting or permanent injuries) then that's the best option for getting out of it without lasting trauma, even less than the three hour option.

Just had one where I was at a party and I wanted to make pasta instead of what they had so I jacked a street food stand to make it but it took 4.5 hours to make and when I was done and got back the party was over.

Eviscerated? No, that's a different weapon, wearing his skin, using his name, taking his place. That is not the Persian Persuader and it never will be.
 

Never forget.
 
(Jump Day 2017 is on the 20th of September)

Hm? That was yesterday.
 
 
Had a dream I was part of a secret agent group or something. We infiltrated a school, accomplished our mission (no clue what that was), and escaped under the cover of being performers on stage The details are fuzzy but I do remember some recurring dream elements, most prominently the one where the brakes in my car are really far away for some reason and I can never quite push them down all the way so the car won't stop. Keep stretching my legs and sliding down in the seat but the brakes are always only slightly depressed.
 
Seemed to have a happy ending. Got to pick and lead my own team and had a heart to heart with my mom.

I had a dream that Valve somehow accidentally put SPUF back up.  Then Gabe Newell posted a thread where he linked to a video of Valve staff laughing at the fact that people thought that the Pyro update was going to come out which he closed by saying "I know that everyone here will say that they'll stop supporting us because of this, but honestly you idiots will keep giving us money no matter what." Then the forums suddenly redirected to steam discussions again.

I had a dream that I got fired and later the same day I found out that @Huff had applied to replace me. I then send him a strongly worded email detailing why we could no longer be friends.
 
What I'm trying to say Ben, is don't steal my fucking job.

Am I doing it right?

I had a dream where it was winter in my neighborhood and I was wandering the streets. There were lots of people outside, too.
However, I was being hunted by a slightly modified AT-ST. It must've been inspired by the AT-STs from the second Force Unleashed game. It had its main cannons as well as a secondary twin blaster on the side that could shoot two slow-moving electrobolts or rapidly fire blaster bolts. On the other side, it had a tube for launching explosives, but it didn't use it while in my neighborhood. It also had some random animal allies (including a seal) wandering around, ready to call for the AT-ST if they found me.
Anyway, I was apparently part of the rebel alliance. If I had a mission, I don't remember what it was. My affiliation was known to just about everyone and everything, but it didn't seem to matter in the slightest to anyone except for the AT-ST and the animals. I could be in the middle of a crowd in the street, the AT-ST could start firing at me, and the crowd would act like it wasn't even happening. Fortunately for them, the AT-ST seemed unable to hit them or cause any sort of collateral damage. I guess it was designed that way so that people would think better of the Empire.
I was able to reach my house, but even my own family was apathetic to my plight. I could discuss my problem with them, but they wouldn't treat it very seriously. At one point, I found my mom sitting on the front porch petting the seal. I couldn't do anything hostile towards the seal because I knew that would just give the rebels a bad reputation, so I had to just leave it be, even though it saw me and called for the AT-ST. Fortunately for me, if I stayed hidden long enough, they would leave.
 
Then my dream shifted to me playing a greatly modified Minecraft. It seemed to play like a Zelda game, where it was open world, there were lots of hostile mobs wandering around and lots of generated structures, and I could enter dungeons, fight bosses, and find health upgrades at the end. It was still Minecraft, though, so I could manipulate the environment with tools.
I couldn't bother with any of that though, because the AT-ST was in the game, constantly following me and attacking no matter where I was, only this time it exclusively used its side tube to launch TNT at me. In the game, I never found any other people and the AT-ST was able to destroy the environment. This worked out for me a bit because there were tons of chests everywhere and it destroyed them letting me easily pick up the loot.
At one point, I tried to enter a deep dungeon to avoid the AT-ST, but there were skeletons and creeper-like mobs (hitting them made them explode, but they were still alive and could bash you with their heads) everywhere. I was panicking and sprinted through to the boss area where there were two Wither-like bosses (one lesser than the other, acting as a bodyguard). I knew that I had to keep attacking them to stop them from attacking me, so that's what I did.
I woke up before I could kill either of them.

I want that dream.
 
Last night I dreamt I was bowling with my friends on a water bed. My friends suck at water bed dream bowling.

Last night I dreamed that I went to a Lego shop that was run by a kindly old man, he said he'd pay good money for a rare toy called a HNK, I managed to find one online (it was a saxophone with each section coloured with a different pattern from a clown's outfit) and it turned out to be worth £15 at most, it felt like the man had scammed me for some reason.

I will sit on my ass and play video games, just like every other day.

Dreamed that I was in some sort of class, but I dont know what it was about because I was asleep in the dream.
 
I had a feeling it was about something sexual, but I couldnt wake up in the dream to look around.
 
Then I learned that I had the power to quick travel/teleport and was able to bring people and stuff with me. So I decided to bring my entire family plus our car to the Netherlands. We got to some lake and everything was going well until a plane crashed inside the lake and exploded.

I had a dream last night where I went on a field trip to LA and met a firefighter who was responding to a minor fire somewhere. I talked to him and he let me borrow his outfit for the day. It was comfy and I spent the day in it although I don't recall anything else about that day until the end of it when my class and I walked back to the bus station, almost getting run over by California drivers in the process. I found the firefighter sitting on a box with his company near there, thanked him and gave him his suit back. Uneventful dream, but a nice one.