TheOnlyGuyEver

I main Ehud.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/612930/Fight_of_Gods/

I mean specifically the Bible though. Although that is cool.

I’ll give anyone no relaxe for a little smooch on the cheek

I will accept $500 to not release the entirety of the MLM archives.

I think someone has it archived actually. I think it’s Ahmed tho so it’s never being touched

@aabicus Thank you for making my day.

Also see this Sergio Leone masterpiece:

Our lovemaking would be immediate, passionate and would involve several Minions body pillows.

Tomato juice is disgusting and to contain it in a juice box rather than a bottle is an affront to all that is reasonable.

Remilia has other options available

Acceptable

wow raison that punishment's pretty "ruff" 

i'm sad inside

@hugthebed2

Ooh, do pluots! (But save at least one to eat normally, they're the best)

I just looked up what those are, and I don't think I've ever seen one. I've had an apricot and a plum, but not both in one.

Grilled/Roasted bananas with sugar/cinnamon are pretty good indeed.

Apples are also good, but as you said depends of the apple.

Wrapping them in tinfoil usually makes it taste better.

Mine is also a Logitech, G203.

All three broke. Two started to double/multiclick. One broke when the cable just stopped working.

I swapped the cable from one of these broken ones to this and it worked fine... for a month, then it started to multiclick.

Guess I'm just built different

I meant "how so" in how is is practical but that works too.

Trade for a pink Flipped Trillby?

New Hat

Kind of a lame band name tbh

fuckin rip dude i hope your shoulders aren't hypermobile

I was really hoping it'd be a rhyming status update.

"Twisted Shoulder, 

thumb stuck in door,

Now I've got a fever,

and I don't want more."

I'm coughing a bunch, but only because my phlegm production is way up for some reason.

Everyone in my neck of the woods, including me, also has a sore throat.  Though mine seems to have faded tonight.  Never got any symptoms with it other than the sore throat but other people have got headaches and fevers.

I survived it. Either that or the afterlife is boring as hell

Foxes: get the best of both worlds.

Foxes suck.

These are bark times 

Place your bets!

Who will fail their New Year's Resolutions first? Who will fail last? Will anyone manage to fulfill at least one?

Stay tuned!

Can't fail any resolutions if you don't make any.

I fulfilled my new years resolution last year and I don't intend on failing mine this year either

This is why every artist needs to make at least one song with a ragtime break midway through.

true patrician music

But without music genres I could never have discovered my favorite genre is post-modern trance hypno-trap with a twist of lime!

Merry whatever-it-is-you-are-celebrating

what?

Haha merry festivus!! Hahaha get it I’m so grouchy and smart xd

I can snap with BOTH hands. Now that I can whistle too, I only need to learn how to tapdance before I ascend to godhood.

I can snap with BOTH hands.

That's called "clapping."

If we are talking about near useless skills, I can twist my tongue in all directions an fold it in half both horizontally and vertically.

Snapping with both hands is easy, I learned how to snap with basically every finger. Also can whistle, but cant do it using my fingers.

wuh

How many parallel universes did he visit?

@aabicus Mario 3, not Mario 64. For shame.

me too

i'm too bitter to be christmas-y

Bah humbug

you'res*

The thot was within you all along.

Never

seems legit

This is like one of those logic puzzles where characters alternate speaking the truth and lying from sentence to sentence.

The first one, although one of my old bosses used to make them in little paper cups, so you could just crush the cup into your mouth to get all the jello out.

slorp that gelatin

[SLURPING INTENSIFIES]

Just looked that up and what the fuck. Never knew those existed. What'll they think of next?

>serrated knives

I'm telling geneva

I genuinely don’t know, I use serrated knives for everything. They’ve never let me down.

Cause they're already filled with AIDS blood.

Not enough obviously.

If I had the bubonic plague and I knew that a nearby mosquito had the cure, I would still swat it.

Haily shit!

That's haila weird fam

SAXTON HAIL!!!!!!!

thanks obama

you're welcome

OBAMAPHONE WHEN

I will hear no badmouthing of sauerkraut.

At least with fermented things, you can argue that the person had regular food at some point.
They just forgot about it and later decided to eat it anyway.

Fun Fact: Durians are the only fruits that Mario can't pickup in Super Mario Sunshine. He just kicks them around. Oddly enough, he can handle pineapples just fine.