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We have alternate threads for a purpose. The point of a board, even as casual as this one, is to organize conversations. If "everything goes in whatever thread" was true, then we would have one long-ass confusing thread, that would be impossible to hold conversions on. A random reaction image or relevant copy-paste is fine, but if it's just two people parroting random things at each other, it shouldn't be here.    This isn't "stifling" or abuse, these requests are merely to keep this place working and readable. 

I'd like to present to all of the residents of this here forum a collected log of unexpected altercations between my boy-fists and my keyboard. Do not be alarmed, my dearest friends; these horrendous collisions of plastic keys and perspiring digits did not come of some foul union between the Hells themselves and some higher literary power (perhaps a God?) - but from the abuse of an irreproachable keyboard by an inebriated, shitposting Canadian. While I cannot affirm that these tales are of any fine grade, I can assure you that you (all the while delving into the surreal tales of BURGER LOVE, fotantoes, and auto-valets) face no strong risk of the sudden development of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy; experiencing a series of psychosexual issues which each contradict the former's symptoms; and/or the desire to consume large quantities of tortilla chips and carbonated soda. These stories contain no real connection or continuity; the characters have no solid backstory, the setting is never consistent, & the plot elements always change. I did it that way to minimize the focus of how realistic or genre-specific the works all were/would be; and to put the reader in a state of confusion where it was going to be necessary for them to define their understanding of the tale - and not to rely on the factual or opinionated evidence of other parties (isolationist fiction which functions easily as an over-extended allegory for growing up and developing your own self-image). Please note that this is a continuing collection; there is not definitive limit to the list. With that in mind, updates will be sporadic and often inconsistently scheduled (expect the most input on the weekend). Submissions of your own to the Collection are welcome and appreciated. The original two stories come from Pastebin; links will be provided to preserve the quality of the originals. tl;dr I write stories when I get high & drowsy off of my sleeping meds. Enjoy. Part 1/12.5 billion Spoiler There stood a fotanto in the corridor. Chitinous legs raked and skidded along the walls of the doorman's delivery house - too many footprints to count. Every muscle and every rigid plate of exoskeletal armor glistened like wet latex in the bloated veil of the moonlight. Whatever the poor foreman had conjured up for graveyard shift equipment, godshark knew it wouldn't be able to tear that predatory cretin apart without a miracle. Gibbous the moon dribbled over the forms of the monstrous chitin-beast and the inadequately prepared construction worker; every crack of the fresh wood against it's massive needle-legs accented the panicked breaths of the man only to be know to the world as Gholdread Joerlad (well, soon - in the mortuary papers). Every jittery shriek with bending intonation that came from the wedged mandibles of the bulbous beast came with the groans and pained wheezings of the newly renovated 30-story apartment complex. Every rip-roaring shotgun shell which kissed the air into a conical shower of leaden death brought itself in-tandem with the revolting repositioning of the 1,500 pound oddity along the meagre skeleton of carpeted concrete and steel I-beams. this was the funniest shift that would be taken by the man known that singular title: DOUBLE DOCTOR MCSCREWBAG: Gholdread Mandrealdaed Part 7/011010000110000101101101011000100111010101 Spoiler Bmufe Springsdeen was a man of profound BURGER LOVE; he would never be able to turn down a hawt, sensual burdger late and willing to engage in several kinky and DEFINITELY NOT PG-14 antics with him and that -worthy tongue/mouth of his ... sorr that was just some sauce running down my leg. Monday morning at JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DELI BOY, Bmufe's jungle of an upper lip twitched at the sight of the classic $5 blackboard menu that so eagerly spelt in flawed Jamaican-English "HOT SAUSY BURG! Megafoud fries wiat great salat"; apparently the entire thing "w/ BIG SHOPIN SODAA" was only $90.81 USD - a minor inconvenience for a BURGER LOVE Rwandan male like himself. For this, he wouldn't TUTSI-ROLL over, never - he would take that goddamned burg like a man and give him a hawt, sensual Dijon mustard sauna rub STRAIGHT IN THE FACE> Rolling out the Einstenian-geometries of that godawful Plymouth Superbird that his mother drove around, the saxophone-clad biker heartthrob known as "The Sauce Boss who's Talking' BURGER LOVE, Hoss" inched ever-closer to the beachside club that was known only as JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DELI BOY - intent on getting his BURGER LOVE only with side-salad and Jamaican jerk spice rubbed all over it like COMMUNIST PROPOGANDA. There was no door to impede his facticious entrance into the fashionable beach-hut diner, only a rebellious and zealous youth whose aura of nauseating zeal and tits-awful acne situation defined him as the Pastafarian waiter snob whose sole existence would ruin the hedonistic garnishes and overall experience of Bmufe's all-too-real BURGER LOVE. This youth was to undergo the name "Cockdune Burgergobbels" and would never be able to achieve enough credibility in the eyes of the Sauce Boss who's Talking' BURGER LOVE, BOSS. "Ey mon, and welcome to JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DINER; may I talk your order?" Now, this reasonable response not only endangered the promise of a delicious BURGER LOVE experience; but dared to take the goddamned plate and swing for the moon like Pachino was playing you in a Sandlot movie SONN with it's bold misappropriation of "mon". This little trashhole was going to end up with his fist in the wrong side of the pelvis tonight. "Sir, I am BMUFE SPRINGSDEEn, and my burger is needed for the pleasureable of" oh jesus why Bmufe. You let the greasy sheen of this mentally challenged teeny-bopper poison your heart. Your HU-U-UNGRY HEAAAUUUAAAUUAAUAUAUARARARTT. This would only promote your policy of ethno-religious cleansing for your upcoming political platform, BURGER LOVE NEBRASKA FOR @)!33. Then came the sounds of the youngest member of JOE's frail bones being compacted between the gossamer-like spit and the balsa-thick central incisors, which glistened from sunlight hung by the thatch rooftop of the diner and dove into the bowels of Bmufe's freakishly large mouth. Muscles which rippled with vein and resilient tendon became thick, ground worms of flesh and blood-pulp; teeth and bone ground coarsely into filler between freshly formed slabs of Burgergobbels; and the fluid sacs of eyes and kidneys and the stomach were reduced to shredded, fatty herbs inbetween the layers of meat. A guttural roar like a low E major erupted from Springsdeen's daemonic maw, one of unrequited BURGER LOVE COMING TO PASS. the salad that came after was okay i guess. So after that, Bmufe decided to play his saxaphone for a bit and fucked off shortly afterwords. everybody's got a h u n g r y h e a r t, everybody's got a hungry heart you put your money down and play your part everybody's got a HUHHUGH HAUNGARYHAAAAAURT AH AH OUH OH A AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH hungryhearthungryhearthungryheartplayyourhungryheartplaypartplayhearthungryhurthungryheartplayparthungryhearthangryhurtpaurtpayhungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungry HUNGRY

Can you stop being so emotional.

I'm sorry I'll stop shitposting Bullshit.

i guess you'd know all about being a flaming faggot, huh

The problem is that all of these situations have the same end result: Somebody walks into a store after it closes. The manager asks them to leave. Somebody walks into a store and has a bad haircut. The manager asks them to leave. Somebody walks into a store and mentions to someone that they're marrying a same-sex partner. The manager asks them to leave. Somebody walks into a store. The manager asks them to leave. A business can refuse service to anybody, and you can't really force them to only refuse service for certain approved reasons (that smacks of a Big Brother state). The same applies to employment - how do you prevent an employer from firing someone for being lesbian without prevent them from firing people for being incompetent? It's not an easy problem to tackle. I'd rather there just not be a problem, but that's a bit optimistic because some people are dicks. With that said, providing a broad exception to anti-discrimination laws defangs them, which is one step short of throwing them out entirely - and much less damaging to your public image, to boot. It's pretty obvious what they're going for here.

Do not put words in my mouth I am saying: 1. right now it is possible to sue a business for not wanting to serve a customer 2. this is stupid I am not saying: 1. this law makes sense 2. Hitler was right

; )

Spoiler we all saw it coming

Are you sure you're taking them right I immediately imagined this

That they have been used before does not make them immediately invalid. Forcing people by law to accept homosexuality is not going make homosexuality accepted, if not doing the exact opposite. That is true. What I am saying is that if they feel the need to make such a law because a pre-existing law makes people able to sue them for such things, then that pre-existing law is stupid.

I'm going to be the devil's advocate here: any kind of business should be allowed to refuse service to a customer no matter what reason. Being able to sue someone for their beliefs, even if they are homophobic or racist, is ridiculous. If they want to actively decrease their amount of customers then that's their own dumb decision.

Besides the point -  I'm not dating right now.    This is only true because of one of two things:   - You're exceedingly semantic when it comes to dating someone, and according to you you never actually dated Noah (Despite him being one of the few boyfriends to have actually taken you on a date)   - You just finished dating someone, no shit you're not dating right this instant