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people excruciatingly thirsting for attention

[spoiler2][/spoiler2]

Raz, allow me to rate your reviews so far 1/10 shit priorities would not request again

I may or may not have expressed this before, but I love writing. I mean, I'm no gatdammed William Quakejavelin, but I've done some work; mostly school stuff. However, in my spare time, I create very short snippets of story concepts that either 1) take waaaay too much from the shit I watch/read/get into, 2) don't really have a fully established plot/characters/setting/anything, and/or 3) are just stereotypical as shit. So today, I thought to myself: "Hey Comeau! Yes! You! Dumbass! Why not post these shit-tier ideas onto the intranets so that you can get help or have your work done better!" . And after a very brief reprimanding and beating that would have me thrown in jail for conscious abuse, I managed to pull this thread out of my ass! Hurrah. And y'know what? Just for you, Patchouli, you can be the star TOO. That's right folks! You too can post your miserable heaps of thinly-veiled fanfic conceptualization work on this here thread too! Nobody gets to go home empty handed! EVERYBODY GETS TO READ A BAD STORY PROMPT! And now, I proudly present the Unfinished Works of Comeau: Untitled Modern Fantasy Story (Working Title is "Magic! The Death of Great America") Spoiler Plot: Nearing the end of the 21st Century, frequent strings of anomalous phenomena that cannot be accurately summarized by any known scientific principle has lead to the re-immersion of magic and the rebirth of spiritualism into the public's eye, and with serious implications: possibilities for endless fuel show themselves to oil companies; the incredible knowledge regarding metaphysical studies that could be reverse-engineered by studying this rediscovered art; but more importantly, the marketability of commonplace magic to benefit the common buyer. Adam Abel Persson was an upstart business man going into the dead-end career of selling what is best described as "shapeless magic" to the public; however, issues arose due to the inability to use commonplace storage materials (plastics, ceramics, silicon, etc.) to package the raw para-metamaterial. Persson found a solution in the usage of living or once living things; however, taking a dark turn for the worse, he resolved that the largest possible container for a supply of his product was the human body. Persson (through a highly convoluted scheme involving bribery, assassinations, becoming a founding force behind magical research, being elected the President of the United States for a brief time, and subsequently creating mass changes to the law through money and power) rises to own a giant castle, which churns out storage crate after storage crate of human carcass by the hour from a large farm of people. In addition to being incredibly gifted with magical prowess, he has hired a squadron assembled of trained killers from across the world to support him and protect his legacy. However, this doesn't bode well with a massive revolutionary front based around the anti-commercialism of magic. Led by a young man going only by the name "George Washington", the movement's top commando group goes head to head with the Emperor of All Things Magaeconomical. Setting: 2095 (tech is relatively same as 2014; more streamlined vehicles and more compact devices are the predominate change); then 2099 (arguably more dystopian; larger amounts of waste than before, and most tech is integrated with magic). Characters: "George Washington" - Leader of the resistance, and main protagonist - Young man, 18-21 years old - Prideful; a scholar of old-school American history, literature and culture; very much a peoples person. Speaks in very dramatic, antiquated English. - White, well-groomed hair and blue eyes. Rather athletic physique for his age. Wears a rather well-kept indigo frock coat above a white dress shirt, and adorns a pair of grey dress pants and black dress shoes. - Born of the "First and Last Person to Go Against Magic" in America, "George" was raised by a former Navy SEAL and his loving wife. Both were ideal Americans; young, rich, charismatic, and willing to devote anything to their freedom. However, "George" was left an orphan after a violent scuffle between his parents and the police when the married couple was on their way to Lord Perssons factory to become a body donor. The young boy then grew up to identify magic with the betrayal of the people's freedom, and the death of the Constitution. Uniting former members of his nation under one goal, he took upon the name of America's Great Founder as a tribute to his hero. Lord Adam Able Persson - The entrepreneurial emperor, and main antagonist - 25 years old in the start; 29 by 2099 - In the beginning, he is a hardworking, yet carefree young man; focused on the 9 to 5. By 2099, he becomes greedy, manipulative, and thinks himself a god; a business man who has reached true wealth. Speaks formally, upholds the importance of the audience, and never loses the attention of the person opposite. - Has a head of rich mahogany hair, and sharply wields his pair of gray eyes like daggers; in 2095, he dresses comfortably in a cheap, black suit jacket and white dress shirt, black pants, and black dress shoes (he also wears black browline glasses). In 2099, he now adorns a olive long coat, a black dress shirt w/ a white bowtie, and matching black dress pants and shoes. - Originally a simple, American man who had moved down south into the States to build a life for himself. However, the curse of the market drew its shadow upon him, and drove him to seek an enterprise for himself. In 2095, while working in the relatively dead-end industry of producing common-goods grade magic products akin to cheap toys, Adam discovered the key point in keeping magical energy for a sustained period of time is by keeping it around biomass; using this information, he came to the realization that the perfect container for his company's product, Prestigiagel©, was by storing the "magic Play-Doh" inside a human body. Then, by manipulation of several Supreme Court Judges via bribery; a string of blackmail incidents regarding the then-Vice President and his relations with the President's wife; and sufficient murder of said President, Persson paved his road into legalizing the cultivation of humans in America for business purposes. By 2099, Adam had become the President of the United States, built his central fortress-factory in the middle of the Red River of the South, paid off America's debt, and eliminated poverty in the Southern half of the United States. To protect himself, the Savior of America hired a team of four professional killers to guard key areas of his central factory for him; these four consist of Hans the Killer (a German-Chinese former Buddhist monk, trained in several forms of Shaolin Kung-Fu and the inventor of a counter-style to Shaolin Kung-Fu itself), Scarlet Harlot (a professional Russian hitwoman and disguise artist who specialized in the use of a pill containing a fast-acting strain of tuberculosis to kill her targets; the pill would be administered via kiss), Dowser (a former warrior from a Native American tribe near the then-polluted Red River; exploited by Persson into joining the guard squad), and The Word of the Wind (a Japanese-Russian assassin who emulates a traditional ninja, with the advantage of using wind magic to silence his movement and give him extra mobility).

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/29/no-peta-cow-milk-does-not-cause-autism.html Can we make it illegal to be a member of PETA? Either way, they're just milking their crazy for attention now.

I'm not sure how that would give him an advantage. I somehow doubt fighting against a bunch of irritable literalists with a lack of social skills is all that pleasant.

Wild theory time:   - Cow milk causes autism - Calves drink cow milk - Calves get autism, grow up to be autistic cows   It's a never ending cycle of cow suffering! PETA should tackle the root of the problem and ban cow birth.

Did they specify what type of milk causes autism (e.g. Skim) or is it just milk in general?

Piledrive Everyone in This Association

Hey, so what will be next "revolution" - water or oxygen to be claimed of causing autism?

Seriously, what the fuck?

I think PETA knows what they're saying is crazy now, and they're just embracing it because they like the attention.

Next up, breathing air causes diabetes.

Milk causes deliciousness to awash my tongue, that's all I know. But Jesus PETA get it together.

I'm done. I'm fucking done. GG reality.

Thanks to a lucky Epic Fetus spawn, I completed The Purist and got Platinum God. I can now die happy.

I think people who cry at Pokemon games are total dorks.

How much money? Well I have a Strange Gunslinger which goes for almost 50 euro. Also some other salvaged stranges EDIT: why

No particular order here, most of these shouldn't come as a surprise, seeing as I gush about most of these games on here anyways. Also I decided to defend my opinions because I have low self-esteem and I was watching Jontron earlier and I guess it rubbed off on me a little. 1. Age of Mythology. One of the first real PC games I ever played, and I see it as one of two games that really got me hooked on gaming in general. And it's just a really solid game, too. I absolutely love it still. 2. Star Wars Battlefront. The second game that really got me hooked, I've logged more hours on this thing than probably any other game I own-including TF2, which means I played it for over 709 hours. Now that I think about it, this game really sparked my love of Star Wars in late middle school/early high school. Which means that this game was a major factor in...well, who I am today, really. Really nervous about the new one. 3. Civ 5. I really haven't played many strategy games after I wore out my copy of AoM. I played Empire Earth for a while, and it was okay. And I know-RTS vs. turn-based is completely different, in terms of gameplay. But Civ's really the only game that I can just play for a solid day at a time, and I think that means it deserves a place here because of that. 4. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3. Yet another one for the nostalgia filter, but come on. That soundtrack. The cruise ship. Fucking DARTH MAUL ON A SKATEBOARD. I rest my case. 5. Minecraft. Besides Garry's Mod, I honestly can't think of a game that's more versatile than Minecraft. And the thing I like most about it is that no matter how much time and effort you put into it, there's still always something new. When you look at all the mods and updates, the possibilities are insane. And I really like that. Plus, even though I'm sorely creatively challenged, there's still a shitload of stuff for me to do in the game.